Denis Leary Buys ‘Chic, Understated’ $3.95 M. Soho Three-Bedroom Condo

Despite his Massachusetts roots and well-vocalized allegiance to the Red Sox, nicotine-throated comedian Denis Leary has bought a three-bedroom apartment at 497 Greenwich Street in Soho.

The condo was listed for $3.95 million with Prudential Douglas Elliman—marketed with non-Leary concepts like “chic, understated,” “discreet” and “sophisticated.” By contrast, the comedian’s most recent recording was titled Merry F#%$in’ Christmas.

More classily, Mr. Leary pens and produces and stars in the post-9/11 fireman drama Rescue Me. (His writing and acting on the F/X show have been nominated for Emmys.)

Will his new apartment help him play a New Yorker? The apartment brims with Manhattan accoutrements: There’s the lanky name-brand architect, Winka Dubbeldam; there’s the “cement-style” slab flooring; there’s the near-50-foot-wide living room with “a wall of floor-to-ceiling steel and glass” and “views of a treed landscape.”

But, best of all, Mr. Leary and his wife will have a master-bedroom suite with a walk-in dressing room, a balcony, and a “spa-style bathroom with freestanding whirlpool tub.”

There’s a bidet, too. All good comedians deserve bidets.

Meanwhile, 497 Greenwich Street has a swimming pool, guest suite, wine cellar and screening room. (Mr. Leary might want to show off his recent voice work in the billion-dollar animated-film franchise Ice Age.)

But why did the actor choose the neighborhood? Listing broker Leonard Steinberg, an Elliman executive vice president, would not comment for this story.

According to public records, Joyce and Timothy Shavers bought the condo for $1.925 million in December 2004. But it appears as if they never moved in: Mr. Steinberg’s listing says the apartment is “brand new.”