Kristian Laliberte and Fabian Basabe in Epic Facebook Battle!

We’ve just come across the two most spectacular Facebook groups ever created. Like the Montagues and Capulets—only digital and not in iambic pentameter—the groups stand in such apparent opposition that they beg to be compared. On one side: “Fabian Basabe Is Fabulous.” On the other: “Kristian Laliberte is on my A-List.”

In order to determine which fan group—and, by default, which social butterfly—is king of the hill, we started with hard, cold figures. Mr. Basabe’s group has an impressive 29 members. BUT! Mr. Laliberte’s fan page squeaks ahead with an even more impressive 34 members. (As an aside, we are taking Mr. Basabe’s more mature age into consideration.)

The game, however, is far from won. While Mr. Laliberte is one of the five elected or self-appointed “officers” of Kristian Laliberte is on my A-List, Fabian Basabe Is Fabulous was launched by someone named Kara Kittelberger. In fact, Mr. Basabe, whose Facebook profile picture is of Andy Warhol, isn’t even a member of the group.

Okay, since the playing field is pretty even, we can take a look at the groups’ respective description blurbs. Mr. Laliberte’s reads: “For those of us who know and love the man, the myth, the fabulous Kristian Bravo Laliberte.” And Mr. Basabe’s: “Let us all thank Fabian for providing us with one of my all time favorite phrases to use when other people are talking... ever/ ‘Conversation over, I'm bored.’/ genius.”

Mr. Laliberte, who has the title of “Our charismatic leader” on his page, indicates that his office is “NYC & the world,” which is undeniably rad. Even cooler is his fake Web site URL: www.toofabuloustogiveafuck.com. Neat! Sadly, Fabian Basabe Is Fabulous has no office or Web site listed, but the group’s recent news is truly stellar. It reads: “hot people have sex. that's what we do.”

It’s true: picking a winner is tough stuff. In the end, though, one must be named. After carefully taking all of the above facts into account, we determined that Kristian Laliberte is on my A-List takes the prize. Plus, one of the officers in Mr. Laliberte’s group is Alessandra Balazs, which is hot.