Lawyers

Last week was my worst week ever. Okay, maybe not ever, but definitely my worst week in 2008.

The trouble started on a Tuesday night. Shortly before I entered a bar to meet a friend for drinks, I updated my Facebook status on my BlackBerry, with an opinion about the upcoming Clinton-Obama debate.

As soon as my friend and I parted ways, I immediately whipped out my BlackBerry to check Facebook again. (Yes, I’m one of those people.)  read more »

If the major presidential candidates were top New York law firms, which ones would they be? It’s not an easy question to answer. Unlike their Washington counterparts, which are unsurprisingly more political—e.g., WilmerHale skews leftward, Wiley Rein leans right—New York firms generally lack strong partisan allegiances. This city is driven by transactional work and commercial litigation, which don’t lend themselves to politics as naturally as, say, Supreme Court and appellate litigation. But even law firms have personalities, don’t they?

Hillary Clinton: Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison

Everyone talks about the former first lady and junior senator from New York, but nobody wants to be her. When asked which firm best embodies Mrs. Clinton, the most common response was, “Not mine.” So whose is she?  read more »

We’re barely a week into the new year, and you know what that means: almost 12 whole months without a raise for New York’s most beleaguered six-figurines, Big Law associates. Yet despite the jump to $160,000 a year for first-year grunts (and don’t forget those bonuses, kids!), a culture of complaint—and, sometimes, litigation—was the Big Law zeitgeist for 2007. Whence the whine wars?

As you plan your first dinner party of 2008, we round up this battle’s commanding officers, and consider whether you should have them over.  read more »

Law firm holiday parties aren’t what they used to be. In bygone days, the booze-fueled blasts yielded up tales of M&A lawyers making out with each other in darkened corners, partners dancing drunkenly with paralegals young enough to be their daughters and similarly dubious behavior.

In recent years, however, stories of scandal have become less common. Perhaps guests are more afraid of public embarrassment, now that cellphone photos of carousing legal eagles can be uploaded to the Internet in minutes.

“People are well behaved, on their guard,” says one partner, who describes his own firm’s party as “very civilized.” An associate who has worked at two different firms observes that “the profession isn’t as racy as it once was.” We assume he means in a relative sense.

But even if they’re not as wild and crazy as they used to be, law firm holiday parties still reflect, in ways large and small, the cultures and personalities of the firms throwing them. Let’s have a look, shall we?

Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen & Katz

The fantastically successful M&A firm—known for paying gargantuan bonuses to associates, whose meals are brought to them at their desks by a uniformed kitchen staff—spares no expense to make its lawyers’ lives pleasant. Or as pleasant as a life can be when you’re billing 3,000 hours a year.

So too with its holiday parties. This year’s bash, on Dec. 12, will take place at the swanky St. Regis in midtown. But in keeping with the firm’s legendary intensity and secretive nature, check the outside world at the door: no spouses or significant others allowed.

(In Wachtell’s defense, many other law firms no longer permit outside guests at their holiday parties. But most of these places are mega-firms, with hundreds of lawyers and thousands of employees, where a holiday party with guests would have to be held in the Javits Center. In contrast, Wachtell is probably small enough, and rich enough, to throw a party with plus-ones.)

Several years ago, a stir was caused by the presence of scantily clad, Rockette-style dancers, who made their appearance near the end of the party. Some guests were scandalized. They should have been grateful that the firm left the dancing to professionals. Says one former attendee: “A few partners would bust a move on the dance floor, with disturbing pelvic motions. I’ve tried to suppress those memories.”

Cravath, Swaine & Moore

“We do the same thing every year,” says a lawyer at tradition-bound Cravath. “The Rainbow Room. Lots of partners go; it’s a big production.”

The Rainbow Room is a fitting venue for the classy, white-shoe law firm. And it’s just a few blocks away from the Death Star, a.k.a. the firm's offices at Worldwide Plaza, in case lawyers need to bill more hours postparty.

In recent years, the Cravath party has featured such entertainment as a caricature artist, people on stilts and not one but two rooms of dancing: a jazz room and “a more crazy-dancing kind of room.” Because you know you want to see merger maven Faiza Saeed shaking her groove thing.

Sullivan & Cromwell

Unlike Wachtell and Cravath, the more old-fashioned Sullivan & Cromwell doesn’t have a holiday party with lawyer-staff mixing. Instead, the firm holds a black-tie event for its lawyers (and their spouses or significant others) to which staff are not invited.

The festivity is technically not a holiday party: It’s a “lawyers’ dinner dance.” This year’s gala, held on a Saturday night (Dec. 1), was at Cipriani on 42nd Street. According to one attendee, the dance floor was “jam-packed.”

Not inviting staff might seem exclusionary (although perhaps not surprising for S&C; until a few years ago, the firm cafeteria had separate sections for lawyers and nonlawyers). But don’t be too quick to pity the staff as Cinderellas, scrubbing the floors while their wicked associate stepsisters dance the night away. According to one S&C lawyer, the staff members are happy not to be invited: “They spend enough time with us already.”

Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom

Fratty Skadden is famous for its “work hard, play hard” culture—which extends to its holiday party, known as one of the wilder ones in town. Alcohol flows like Aquafina, and the dance floor is kept pitch-dark. Because, aside from Faiza Saeed, do you really want to watch lawyers dance? Next Page >

First things first: Who’s getting what? Well, it seems you don’t have to be a Supreme Court clerk anymore to leave those black robes in the dust.  read more » Next Page >

White-shoe firm welcomes bedbugs, celebrities, and purple-clad man of mystery.  read more » Next Page >

A big-budget movie about a senior associate, starring George Clooney … who’d have thought?  read more » Next Page >

Distracted lawyers waste billable hours yakking on Facebook.  read more » Next Page >