Five Things We Expect In Gossip Girl Season Two

We don't know about you, but we're spending our Labor Day Monday literally counting the seconds until Gossip Girl returns tonight at 8. And from what we've seen of the season premiere, we're in for a treat.

The first five minutes of tonight's episode appeared online last week and they are predictably awesome. The second season kicks off with most of our heroes getting ready to attend the final party of the season in the Hamptons (a White Party, natch). Nate has shacked up with an older woman (Madchen Amick); Serena is moping around looking upset (Blake Lively, as wooden and lifeless as ever, makes Mischa Barton look like Meryl Streep); Chuck Bass, in full French Mime regalia has not one, but THREE girls taking their tops off for him; and good ol' Dan is making out with a girl way byond his reach after interning with a famous writer over the summer.

It all looks deliciously trashy and entertaining.

Recently, show executive producer Stephanie Savage said that the second season is going to "go deeper and twist things further," which sounds insane to us. It's hard to imagine the show getting any more risqué. The first season featured sex and drug use that rivaled a late-night Cinemax romp, all during family hour. What could Gossip Girl possibly do for an encore?

In no particular order, here are five things we think will happen in season two:

1.) Young Jenny, now embroiled in a Devil Wears Prada plot-line with Blair's fashion designer mother, will fall in love with a much older man, causing lots of uncomfortable moments for male viewers.

2.) Rufus and Lily will totally have an affair. And get caught by Dan.

3.) Last year brought us Serena's grandmother, a Wicked Witch of the East with a fake case of cancer (the deliciously campy Caroline Lagerfelt.) This year, we hope Dan and Jenny's grandfather show's up--a slightly ethnic, very wise and super sarcastic old coot. We're thinking Elliot Gould would be appropriate.

4.) Dan and Serena will get back together, but not until Sweeps.

5.) As always in a second season, a "major" character has to die. Our money is on Bart Bass. That'll allow Rufus and Lily to get together, while at the same time giving Chuck an entire fortune of wealth he is in no way ready for. Bonus!