McInerney v. Mortimer: Who Was Better on Gossip Girl?

The season premiere of Gossip Girl was all that we could have asked for and more. Chuck and Blair continued to wage psychological warfare on each other to our delight (Leighton Meester and Ed Westwick once again showing that as they go, so goes Gossip Girl.) Serena and Dan already got back together, proving our prediction for their Sweeps Week reunion to be utterly wrong. And Jenny towered over everyone around her (poor Connor Paolo looks like he's standing in a hole when placed next to Taylor Momsen.)

The premiere also found time to showcase two New York icons: author Jay McInerney and socialite Tinley Mortimer. Who fared better on their CW maiden voyage? Let's find out!

Role

Jay McInerney appeared as Dan's boss for the summer, a famous writer named Jeremiah Harris. His pompadour was perfectly fluffed and his manner impeccably prickly. Meanwhile, Tinsley Mortimer appeared as "Tinsley Mortimer."

Advantage: Tie

Wardrobe

We thought Ms. Mortimer looked lovely in her white dress, but honestly, we wouldn't know fashion if it sat on our heads. One thing we do know however is that Mr. McInerney should have been wearing an ascot. You're telling us he couldn't have borrowed one from Chuck Bass?

Advantage: Mortimer

Acting

Ms. Mortimer basically walked on, complimented Jenny on her dress and smiled. She really didn't have to do a lot of heavy lifting. Mr. McInerney, on the other hand, actually had to act, as he was part of a minor subplot featuring Dan and his internship. Sadly, the results were disastrous. His line readings were about as smooth as telegram from 1955: "Speaking of. (Stop.) Where's that story of yours? (Stop.) You know. (Stop.) The one that your internship requires you turn in. (End.)"

Advantage: Mortimer

Impact

In essence, Ms. Mortimer was a total deus ex machina, dropped in to get Jenny's boss to respect her during her internship. But Mr. McInherney's Jeremiah Harris was surprisingly important, and decidedly un-TV like. When Dan walked into the bar (Puck Fair, we know you anywhere!) that Jeremiah was drinking at, asking for yet another reprieve on his final paper, Jeremiah could have granted him one. Instead he fired Dan's ass.

Advantage: McInerney

There you have it, with a final score of 2-1 (with one tie), Tinsley Mortimer narrowly defeated Jay McInherney in the battle of their Gossip Girl appearances! Tell her what she's won ...