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Notions From Lee Abrams, Jr.

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December 9, 2008 | 10:28 a.m.
Innovators: Coldplay's Chris Martin and Lee Abrams<br /> (Getty Images)
Innovators: Coldplay's Chris Martin and Lee Abrams
Getty Images

The New York Observer's Man in Beijing, Tom Scocca, has a few thoughts on yesterday's announcement that Sam Zell's Tribune Company filed for bankruptcy protection.

Here he is, channeling the Tribune Company's Chief Innovation Officer, Lee Abrams:

CRUSHING POVERTY is not only a GREAT MOTIVATOR, but it is also the FASTEST- GROWING DEMOGRAPHIC in our rapidly changing marketplace.

Newspapers have always been the best HOBO BLANKETS, and we have UNPARALLELED OPPORTUNITY to LIVE the product that we make.

Many of our writers will be BUNDLED UNDER the very same WORDS THEY WROTE.

Questioning assumptions is our FIRST DUTY. 'How do I feed my children?' people ask. That is OLD THINKING. CHILDREN = THE FUTURE, and the future should be as EMPTY AS POSSIBLE.

Emptiness is the space in which INNOVATION CAN THRIVE.

Pensions are for people who plan to GROW OLD. Our mission is to NEVER GROW OLD. Now all of you know the MEANING OF INNOVATION.

-30-

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