Die Yuppie Scum! Not You, Pizza Guy
Slacktivists rally against Economakis, East Village gentrification, whatever
Folk singer David Peel was leading a crowd of protesters in a singalong of his charming ditty “Die Yuppie Scum” on Friday evening, when suddenly the rebellious crooner experienced a moment of clarity.
“What are we doing over here?” Mr. Peel asked. “Where are the apartments?”
A few doors down, it turned out.
Demonstrators had intended to gather outside an apartment building at 47 East 3rd Street, owned by controversial landlord Alistair Economakis, who has been trying to uproot its rent-stabilized tenants for years in order to create a sprawling manse for himself and his family.
But they ended up in front of a different building closer to Second Avenue, where police had cordoned off a designated protest area.
“Everybody start chanting, 'Expand the protest area! Expand the protest area!'” Mr. Peel said.
“And more cupcakes!” demanded another protester.
“More donuts for the cops!” added another.
Indeed, this latest demonstration by the so-called Lower East Side Slacktivists, a rag-tag group of crunchy locals railing against the neighborhood’s sweeping gentrification, featured perhaps the best spread of refreshments of any radical rally in recent memory -- donuts, cupcakes, and at least five pizzas donated by Two Boots pizza chain honcho Phil Hartman.
“A gentrifier,” one protester pointed out. He then clarified, “Well, a sort of bohemian gentrifier."
Mr. Hartman, also proprietor of the shuttered Mo Pitkin's bar and live music venue, was the founder of the neighborhood's beleaguered Howl festival, which for years celebrated the area's countercultural roots before abruptly collapsing in 2006 amid mounting debts. (The event is back on this fall.)
As one critic of Mr. Hartman's once told the Village Voice: "The original mission ... was partly to stop this flood of expensive bars and restaurants coming into the area... But then Phil builds Mo Pitkin's, and the contradiction was clear. Phil turned out to be the gentrifier."
"He's a controversial guy, but I like him -- he gave us five pizzas," rally organizer John Penley said of Mr. Hartman.
Mr. Penley further suggested that Mr. Hartman may himself become a victim of gentrification: "He's having trouble, man, he's going to lose some of his locations because he can't pay the rent!"
UPDATE: Mr. Hartman responded via email: "It's not easy for anyone doing business in NYC these days...it happens that a bunch of my leases are up right now, and it's tough dealing with landlords' expectations, but we'll be fine."
35 West 23rd Street
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The Daniel D. Tompkins Society, a not-for-profit organization dedicated to re-introducing Yuppies into the Lower East Side (where they have resided since 19th century), is continuing to collect donates for provide free showers for the members of Mr. Penley's aromatic group. Mr. Peel's teeth also continue to be a concern. The DDTS is willing to provide dental work for him free of charge. If he would just stop singing.
Free dental care! How socialist of you! And showers! Well just throw in a few pairs of those oh so fashionable and flattering khakis with little whales stitched all over them that you all seem to favor & you've got a deal!
Honestly, though, I fail to see how hipsters are any better than yuppies. Bring back the ethnics!!!!
Phil Hartman's biggest problem is not gentrification or rising rents. It's how he expresses impossible and lofty goals, then tells other people they have to achieve them, but does nothing to support their work.
He's a shark, a pathological liar, and a dirtbag. Ask anyone who has ever worked for him.
If his organization actually was organized, he would have no problem with the changes in the neighborhood. His biggest problem is how he does business and treats his staff, but of course it's a classic Phil move to blame his problems on gentrification.
Bullshit, Phil. Go back to therapy and try to discover why you lie so much.