Sara Vilkomerson’s Guide To This Week’s Movies First The Eye, then The Tongue?

Oh, America … what are you doing to us? Meet the Spartans, the latest spoofy, goofy film from the Scary Movie franchise, was tops at the box office this weekend. Beating … Rambo! Really? Interesting to see what will happen this week … and we wish we could give a more informed opinion on things, except that none of the movies were screening for critics before press time. Hmmmm! Suspicious? We kind of thought so. So instead, we bring you our thoughts on two of this week’s movie trailers—which, let’s face it, are sometimes better than the movies themselves and usually a pretty good indicator of things to come.

FIRST UP IS Over Her Dead Body, which is brought to you by writer and first-time director Jeff Lowell. (Who previously gave the world John Tucker Must Die. Thank you! ) The always-charming Paul Rudd plays a man whose fiancée (played by Eva Longoria Parker) was tragically killed on his wedding day—she was crushed by an ice sculpture of an angel. Stay with us. A year later, and still depressed, he’s pushed into seeing a psychic (Lake Bell). A few twists and a couple of white lies later, the two fall for each another, with the psychic convincing Mr. Rudd that his dead wife wants him to be happy. Wrong! Ms. Parker (way to use the married name!) is mad as only a dead, jealous almost-wife could be and sets out to derail the new romance. Do we really even need to go on here? This film seems to take a little bit of everything from Ghost, All of Me, She-Devil and probably a dozen more movies we might rather forget. The only thing we see really going for it is Mr. Rudd (whom we’ve loved since the days of Clueless), though we’re worried something weird happened behind the scenes to get him in on this one.

Over Her Dead Body opens Friday at Regal E-Walk Times Square and City Cinemas E. 86th Street.

OH BOY, AND then there’s The Eye. This movie’s ad campaign has been grossing us out for a while now, since the main image is of an eye with a hand coming out of it. Yuck! The film is a remake of the 2002 Hong Kong thriller Gin gwai, and is about a blind woman who receives an eye transplant that allows her to see into the supernatural world (and not a pretty flying unicorn one either). It’s high time someone made a movie to freak out the organ donors! Jessica Alba stars, and—pretty excitingly—so does Parker Posey (!) and Alessandro Nivola, who played the evil brother of Nic Cage in Face/Off. Not for nothing, but eyeballs are pretty gross, though we suppose this flick leaves tons of room for sequels: The Ear … The Tongue … etc.

The Eye opens Friday at Regal E-Walk Times Square and Regal Battery Park.