1Oak Using E-mail Blasts to Drum Up Business

The Daily Transom received an e-mail yesterday from 1Oak, the nightclub that, as its owners explained to the Times last December, would be "a refuge from the bridge-and-tunnel marauders, gossip-column interlopers and Wall Street masters of the universe accustomed to buying their way past velvet ropes."

"MAKE ANY OCCASION ONE OF A KIND," the e-mail began in all caps. It proceeded to list all the various occasions that we might want to celebrate there: private parties, holidays, events, launches, affairs, releases, premieres, galas, fetes, celebrations, receptions, benefits, anniversaries, socials, formals, fund-raisers. (Did someone look up "party" in the thesaurus?)

It doesn't really make the club sound like the ultra-exclusive place that a "gossip-column interloper" (present company, we presume, included) or a "Wall Street master" would not be able to penetrate.

Oh, well. The economy is in the dumps and everyone has had to lower their standards, including 1Oak owners Richie Akiva, Scott Sartiano, Jeffrey Jah and Ronnie Madra. Besides, even before the economy tanked, things hadn't been going so swimmingly; there was an alleged gay-bashing incident in January and a lawsuit filed in August by disgruntled former waitresses.

We'll know things have gotten really bad when we start getting personal emails from Graydon Carter asking us to hold our next birthday party at the Waverly Inn.