Friday, September 5

And they’re off! Town cars grind 42nd Street to a halt, and the autumn air fills with Eau de Cologne, envy and self-loathing, as everyone who still cares about sack dresses and stilettos makes haste to runway shows by Katie Lee Joel’s BFF Yigal Azroel, mall clothier BCBG and man-meat clothier Rag & Bone (designed by two smoldering, straight Brits; there’s hope for fashion after all!), before making a perfunctory stop at Condé Nast’s annual top-40 extravaganza, Fashion Rocks, at Radio City, where they will attempt to avoid the drunk, wandering hands of ad salesmen who have been watching too much Mad Men… Later, aspiring comedians  head to the Friars Club to compete for a chance to roast that pretty boy Matt Lauer during the club’s annual roast in October, where there are sure to be many quips about Mr. Lauer pleasuring Al Roker while Katie Couric holds the leash. “It’s kind of an insult comedian competition,” said Rick Numan, producer of the open call. The winner “will get three minutes in front of 1,500 people [to roast Mr. Lauer]. Al Roker is the roast master. Jeff Zucker, all of NBC’s going to be there. We have a saying: We only roast the ones we love. It’s not mean-spirited. I mean, it’s brutal, but it’s really done with a respect.” Also, you could become famous! “Susie Essman roasted Jerry Stiller, and Larry David saw that roast, and he hired her for Susie Greene on Curb Your Enthusiasm.”

[Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week, www.mbfashionweek.com for schedule, invite only; Fashion Rocks, Radio City Music Hall, 1260 Avenue of the Americas, 8 p.m., www.ticketmaster.com;Friars Club Presents … So You Think You Can Roast? open call, Caroline’s 1626 Broadway, 10:45 a.m., www.friarsroast.com ]

mbryan@observer.com