Celebrity Stumpers

Chuck Norris isn’t the only celebrity who has stumped for Republican Mike Huckabee. Here’s a clip of rock group KB Gunn and the Boston Tea Party singing their support for the presidential hopeful from Arkansas. The tune, cleverly titled “The Huckabee Song,” rides high on harmonic intricacies that alone express a fiery passion for Mr. Huckabee’s unique platform of issues. Self-styled proponents of real change in the nation’s capital, Mr. Gunn and his invisible collective of New England-based herb flakes have crafted lyrics, too, which drive at the heart of Mr. Huckabee’s vision for America.

A song without sound is like a painting without a canvas or something, but here’s a little taste of the tune’s poetry. “The Huckabee Song” begins:

I like Huckabee for president—Huckabee!

I like Huckabee for president—Huckabee!

I like Huckabee for president—Huckabee!

I like Huckabee for president—Huckabee!

Though certainly sufficient, those aren’t the only reasons why KB Gunn and the Boston Tea Party want you to vote for Mr. Huckabee. “The home of the brave, the land of the free,” they sing, “needs a leader like Mike Hukabee.” Oh, and we almost forgot—“he wants to fix our country’s press” and “end the IRS.” But at the end of the day, don’t we all?

Warning to those affected by motion sickness—now is the time to pop a Dramamine.

Beyond all the jiggles and giggles, the nougat at the core of this promo clip—a sewing-circle interview of Hillary Clinton conducted by Traveling Pants sister Amber Tamblyn, Ugly Betty star America Ferrera and the inside of her mouth (Chelsea Clinton is apparently there, too)—is d’lish.  read more »

In this clip, Chris Rock introduces Barack Obama—the candidate for “progressive people that are not scared,” Mr. Rock says, who “want to be on the right side of history, because you’ll be real embarrassed if he won and you wasn’t down with it.” The comedian adds that the “smart” senator from Illinois, who he has met a few times, “is a change, and it’s time for a change.” After all, a new regime is needed, in the funnyman’s words, because “anything would be better than [George] Bush. You know, Bush, my god, it’s just…You knew he didn’t care. In a way, Bush’s presidency has been a success, because he hasn’t let us down. It was everything we thought it was going to be and worse. It was like a horror movie—man, that really scared me!” Mr. Rock says to loud applause, before drawing a distinction between the way the president handled Hurricane Katrina (no time for the black people drowning) and the wildfires in L.A. (pour Katrina water on the white people who are burning).

Actor Jack Nicholson has taken a real shining to Hillary Clinton. In this audio clip, recorded last week, radio host Rick Dees puts the 70-year-old actor, who went on the air to endorse the senator from New York, on “a party line” with Ms. Clinton, 60.

“I thought you were going to call in and stop me perhaps,” Mr. Nicholson says with a gravelly laugh. “Oh, no! I’m thrilled to have your support—it’s great,” Mrs. Clinton, who calls herself a “big fan and friend of Jack’s,” responds. Then things turn slightly awkward …

“I’m getting terrible static, so if I drift off the point, you’ll have to forgive me,” Mr. Nicholson can be heard saying in his trademark this-is-just-how-it-is tone. After clarity is restored to the line, he starts to stump.

“As far as her positions which she’s clearly stated in many occasions that I’ve watched her speak about Iraq—you know, it’s very simple to say what you would or wouldn’t have done in this or that situation. She was apparently misinformed by the president about the process and people forget about the timing at these times....As I heard the senator herself say, ‘If had been in [Mr. Bush’s] position, this particular question would not have arisen.’”

Mr. Nicholson then begins talking, in rather ambiguous terms, about how after Ms. Clinton is elected she will go over to the Pentagon and demand this and that. Mr. Dees quickly shifts the conversation to Ms. Clinton’s travel schedule. And because this is such a rare, excellent opportunity for real Americans to ask the maybe president hard-hitting questions, the radio jockey selected only one query from “the 50,000 questions” that had been sent in.

Here’s what curious listener Michelle had to say: “The question is: I’ve heard that Chelsea’s getting married, she’s engaged. And is she actually a bridezilla, to be honest?”  read more »

With Rambo on his side, presidential hopeful John McCain has nothing to worry about. In this clip from Fox News, an anchor asks actor Sylvester Stallone (a.k.a. Sly) who he supports in the upcoming presidential race. Considering Mr. McCain’s cinematic war-hero history—you know, the whole Hanoi P.O.W. stint back in the 60’s—Mr. Stallone has got to love the guy.

After the Republican senator from Arizona, 71, has a bit of trouble hearing the Fox anchor through his earpiece, they deliver the goods. Here’s what the 61-year-old actor had to say about his primo politico:

“I like McCain a lot, a lot. And you know things may change along the way, but there’s something about matching the character with the script. And right now, the script is being written and the reality is pretty brutal and hard-edged, and like a rough action film, you need somebody who’s been in that to deal with it.”

Oprah Winfrey’s endorsement of Barack Obama was a major coup for his campaign. Most people like Ms. Winfrey and, by proxy, want to read and vote like her. But, it seems, when Robert DeNiro tells voters to rally behind the junior senator from Illinois, people—especially those who have seen Goodfellas—have little choice in the matter. In this clip, the 64-year-old actor circles the wagons, strongly suggesting Americans answer the politico’s call to action. After all, he explains, Mr. Obama’s relative governmental inexperience “is the kind of inexperience I can get used to.”  read more »

Yummmm…What’s that delicious smell? Oh, my stars—it’s the “Chuck 4 Huck” Barbeque, of course!

In this promo clip for Republican Mike Huckabee, actor Chuck Norris, enunciating and gesticulating like he’s speaking to a mature golden retriever, invites viewers to join his Internet cookout party for the presidential hopeful and former governor of Arkansas. During the political party, Mr. Norris says he plans to—wait for it, wait for it—take guests on a virtual tour of his Texas ranch! For anyone still on the fence, the 67-year-old former Walker star, a nasty martial artist, surely seals the deal by promising to show off “the workout area where I train.” There won’t be any dessert, because it’s hard to serve dessert over the Web. BUT! “My black belts are going to give a demonstration,” Mr. Norris says.

Scarlett Johansson was born and raised in New York City, but you probably wouldn’t know it from watching this video, in which she stumps for Senator Barack Obama. In the clip, filmed at Carleton College, a small liberal arts institution in Northfield, Minnesota, Ms. Johansson speaks to a group of students in an almost pitch-perfect Standard Midwestern accent. Amid the “yuh knowas” and “makun’ likes,” she recounts the first time she met Mr. Obama, someone she calls “an incredible thinker and mind.” The 23-year-old actress was apparently so “starstruck” by the encounter that a slightly unusual greeting tumbled out of Ms. Johansson’s mouth: “I love your wife!” The presidential hopeful returned the compliment, she tells the crowd, by “paddun me on tha hayd.”