Billy "Cool Beard" Bob Thornton (Getty Images)

Well, someone just saw Vincent Gallo's autobiographical blowjob in Brown Bunny: Variety has just announced that facial hair/hat combo trendsetter Billy Bob Thornton will be co-writing and directing a movie based on his relationship with ex-wife Angelina Jolie.

Because you guys remember that, right? Billy Bob Thornton was married to Angelina Jolie? Okay, he's just making sure.

The film is tentatively titled And Then We Drove, which is already being shortened in the press to Drove, making it sound like a sequel to this year's hottest Ryan Gosling feature. Won't teen girls be in for a terrible shock when they buy their tickets and get this instead:

Thornton said the film is about "a guy who's on a road trip and picks up this girl along the way, and what happens to them. It's about the question of life: 'What is this? Where do I fit in?' "

An insider said the film is partly inspired by Thornton's wild and well-documented relationship with ex-wife Angelina Jolie, which (producer Alexander) Rodnyansky confirmed.

Well, insofar as it includes the star-crossed duo sharing vials of each other's blood and swapping tattoos, Drove could basically just call itself My Freaky Marriage to Angelina: A Documentary. Hopefully starring Ryan Gosling.

Buzzfeed's latest hire, Mystic (Jamie Urso)

In their latest effort to make the rest of the world feel jealous for not working for Jonah Peretti, Buzzfeed introduced a new friend to the office this morning: Mystic the miniature horse.

Politics reporter Zeke Miller was one of the first to tweet out the Valentine's Day surprise from Buzzfeed's HQ:

Smart move on new EIC Ben Smith's part, as a small horse is apparently a great way to motivate employees to come to work:

As of the time of this writing, Mystic has apparently already left the building. And while The New York Observer would never stoop to such obvious ploys for attention as broadcasting photos a live animal in our offices, let's just say that Kaplan the Unicorn remains the best reason to come to work everyday.

Update: According to an email from Managing Editor Scott Lamb, the horsie was a gift from president Jon Steinberg for passing over 25 million unique views in December.

Oscar de la Renta

After a brief reprieve yesterday, we’re back at the tents and ready for action. Appropriately so, as today is St. Valentine’s Day! Try as we might, however, we simply can’t make it to the 9 a.m. shows. After falling asleep in the shower, we miss the Tory Burch show (which is sad, because we love to support socialites-turned-designers!) but manage to make it just in time for the J. Crew presentation. After a congratulatory coffee with Mickey and Jenna, we’re off to see Vera Wang, who, we learned from that Harper’s Bazaar photo shoot, could give her models a serious run for their monies. Sexy sexagenarian alert! Preparing ourselves for the production, we jet down to the Marc by Marc Jacobs show. Pushing past the NYU sophomores loitering outside in various states of undress (since it’s Valentine’s Day, we’ll forgive their cupidity, if only today), we’ll watch the show before heading straight back uptown to see Oscar de la Renta’s latest creations. After the show, we’ll throw a few back with the ever-avuncular coutourier, in hopes he will agree to be our valentine for the evening (apologies, Annette). By the end of the night, all flamenco-ed out, we’ll trudge back home to prepare for the home stretch of this marathon week.

J. Crew, Lincoln Center, the Studio, 9:30 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. Vera Wang, Lincoln Center, the Stage, 11 a.m. Marc by Marc Jacobs, New York State Armory, 68 Lexington Avenue,
4 p.m. Oscar de la Renta, 11 West 42nd Street, 6 p.m.

Betsey Johnson and her lovely ladies (Patrick McMullan)

Out of all the shows we've gone to during this longer-than-a-week Fashion extravaganza, Betsey Johnson's was by far the most fun. Does that come as a shocker to anyone? The 65-year-old knows how to give her legion of fans--who run the gauntlet from punk-rock 15-year-olds to Russell Simmons--what they want, and we're not just talking about her infamous cartwheel/splits routine that she's become infamous for.

A half hour after the show was supposed to begin in Lincoln Center, interns with black headsets began to look the other way as people grabbed closer seats in the giant theater to get a better glance at Ms. Johnson's fall line. We were able to snag fourth row, along with a French photographer and a Japanese man with a camera who asked us what The New York Observer was approximately six times over the course of the 15  minute show. In between the Beatles soundtrack and the screaming ladies ("We love you Betsey!"), we managed to make out a couple of front row chatter. But the real lavishing began at the after party, held at the Stone Rose on the top of the Time Warner Center, where Ms. Johnson was joined by Kris Humphries ("How do you spell Kardashian?" The New York Observer heard one guest ask her friend,) Richie Rich, and Dani Stahl in celebrating another great season.

Ms. Kandyba was recently dumped. (image via Vogue.com)

Today DNAinfo generously served up the names, ages, and photographs of fashion week imports who are really disillusioned by the whole Valentine's Day thing.

Take Mariza Veer, who's been a model for four years. She says that "though all people deserve to get nice things on Valentine's Day," she was really surprised her boyfriend got her a lame blender one year, "given her occupation."

"I won't say that beauty has nothing to do with love, and that definitely factors into how people are treated," Ms. Veer told DNAinfo.

Single guys with a savior complex may want to hit the tents and track down 20 year-old Ella Kandyba, who is not expecting even the most predictable chocolates or a movie, seeing as her boyfriend dumped her recently.

"I have no boyfriend this Valentine's Day. It's very sad," Ms. Kandyba said. "He broke up with me because I'm crazy."

BIG♥NYC.

This week a beating red heart stands 10 feet tall over Times Square, carefully nestled inside midtown’s own throbbing center of activity. This new edition to the bustling strip of theaters, restaurants and street performers is a sculpture called “BIG♥NYC.” At first glance, it might look unusual. But that may very well be because it is unusual.

For the past four years, Times Square has been the host of an annual heart sculpture to commemorate Valentine’s Day. The Times Square Alliance selects an architect to design a “romantic public art installation.” This year the sculpture was created by the Danish architecture firm the Bjarke Ingels Group and cost $15,000, paid for by donations and grants. The sculpture will be up from February 6^th to February 29^th.

This is BIG’s first project in New York. “We like to use emerging architects and new and innovative technology,” Tim Tompkins, the president of the Times Square Alliance, told The Observer. The structure is made up of 400 transparent, LED-lit, acrylic tubes that form a cube around a suspended red heart. The clear tubes reflect the perpetually-flashing signs in Times Square for what comes across as a symbiotic relationship between art and environment.

The non-profit Alliance placed the sculpture inside Times Square to attract the attention of the lovers of NYC as a part of the month long promotion “Free Love in Times Square.” The campaign includes “steamy offers and romantic deals” for the couples of NYC and the chance to have a vow renewal upon the iconic red steps on Valentine’s Day, which viewers without a Valentine can watch online from the obscure comfort of their own home. Also, if people take their photo in front of the sculpture and then post it to Think Energy’s Facebook page during February, Alliance will donate $1 to the Hope & Heroes Children’s Cancer Fund.

Daniel Kidd, the project leader from BIG, couldn’t be more excited about the sculpture. “Anything that captures the imagination is great,” Mr. Kidd said.

Touch me.

Mr. Tompkins said the Alliance chose to place the sculpture in Times Square because “it is the best platform in the world to highlight creativity and make sure everyone sees it.” And rest assured they have seen it. “After the Super Bowl, Times Square was flooded with people and many came together to touch the heart,” Mr. Kidd said.

There’s an intimacy to the interactive nature of the sculpture, encouraging expression through love languages like physical affection. Simple acts such as touching the heart make it glow brighter as the “energy” from passer-byers’ hands is transformed into more light. The more people who feel the sensor at one time, the faster the heart will beat, as if it were actually feeling the warmth of its suitor’s attention. Mr. Tompkins said people have responded to it in kind.

“[They] love it. [Many] people have taken their picture in front of it. It gets people’s attention. It increases digital interactive technology to enhance the romantic experience.”

Brian Brady and his wife, Tiffany, see the heart as a nice change of pace, an opportunity to appreciate more than the blur of a hurried step. "This city is so fast it is nice to see something in the center that can slow everyone down. When people see it they want to stop and touch it," Ms. Brady said.

Mr. Kidd agrees. He doesn’t limit its heart-like attributes to romantic love between one person and another, but expands it to include that between a city and its constituents. “It is metaphorically the pulsing heart of the city,” Mr. Kidd said. “The heart has been a symbol for love for centuries. This is about people willfully joining to act together. Families, couples, people who have just met, all interacting with each other”

“This is a love letter to the city.”

jmaas@observer.com

The early aughts were good to Barbara Tfank. In 2001, the New York native debuted her line at Fashion Week and has spent the past decade distinguishing herself from the millennial labels. Her twill frocks are favorites of Adele and Michelle Obama, and indeed  FLOTUS wore a Tfank creation at the ever important State of the Union last month.

To wit, it's an election year, and Lady O's every look is under intense scrutiny. In some ways, however,  it comes as little surprise that that high profile females from all realms have taken a liking to Tfank's designs. With sumptuous fabrics, Ms. Tfank has a knack for designing flattering, feminine designs that harken back to the glamor of the sixties without feeling nostalgic.

We spoke to the designer about her line and her plans for fashion week.

You design clothes for powerful women… who is the Barbara Tfank woman?

It really interests me that the people who gravitate towards my clothes (Michelle Obama, Adele) they’re women that are communicators—they have very strong opinions. I think that my clothes allow for women to show themselves, their power. I think that’s a really change in fashion: women are much more empowered. I love helping people and I feel like I’m a facilitator.

Also, I’ve worked as a costume designer, so it's fashion with a costume design element, especially when I’m working with someone who is making appearance!

The real buzz is Michelle Obama wearing your designs for the State of the Union address! Congrats!

The Observer had a mix-up… just a  hiccup, if you will. Somehow in the chaos of Prabal, meeting deadline, and chatting with Wes Gordon, we completely neglected our front-row seat at Hervé Léger. Now say what you will! No, we haven’t the foggiest idea who Harley Viera Newton is—or care to be seated even remotely near Tinsley Mortimer. But we cherish the talented Kristin Chenoweth, who ravished in a steel bandeau at the show. Beverly Johnson would have been fun to chat with too! Alas, no point in dwelling on the matter, we missed it.

For winter 2012, Max Azria and Co. gave their bandage dresses a gladiator edge with leather and fur accents. Except don’t be fooled—you’ll still have to watch what you eat to squeeze into one of these $1,000 designs. But if you do, your chances of getting laid are increased fourfold (by our rough calculations)!

Later that evening, the Max Azria lot invaded Meatpacking dinner den, Anja (formerly known as Buddha Bar), for cocktails and a seated dinner. Celebrity DJ Solange Knowles, at the turn tables, served as a marvelous dessert! (And yes, she did play plenty of Whitney).

Images: Getty and Patrick McMullan.

Indeed, despite the much-publicized pregnancy announcement, Ms. Cavallari has barely begun to show, and hand-on-burgeoning-belly shots which will doubtless grace the cover of tabloids in the months to come seemed premature this morning.

Ms. Cavallari was sporting a pregnant glow at the Rachel Roy show this morning and, as throngs of classless fashionistas for photos with her, she cheerily played to her adoring public.

And she's feeling great. "I've just been tired, but I haven’t had any morning sickness. So I'm really lucky," she told The Observer.  " On her jaunt to New York, Ms. Cavallari will be seeing a few shows and getting some R&R. "I will be getting a massage Wednesday morning," she said. Jay ("my fiancee," she clarified, for good measure) will meet her for dinner tomorrow evening, and they will enjoy their pre-baby vacay.

"Kristin, Kristin!" a voice called. "I just wanted to introduce myself," a fan said, approaching. "My wife is pregnant, too!!" Poor Kristin, hopefully she enjoys discussing her delicate condition, because it seems that's all anyone wants to talk about. Doesn't it get annoying? we wondered.

"There are certain questions that come with it that you just expect," she said. Ah yes, in the life of post-reality tv show celebutantes, there is no premium on privacy.

Don’t mess with Alexander Wang. This message was more than clear. KCD guarded their most sought-after invite with a check-in process worthy of the North Korean border. Street photography happened 20 yards from entry gates. Photo I.D. required.

Once inside Pier 94, we discovered a smoky hall of mirrors. Sure enough, the entire fashion world was present to take in the spectacle. Varsity Voguettes, Carine Roitfeld avec sa fille, Terry Richardson, model Liya Kebede, Paris Vogues’ Emmanuelle Alt, Shala Monroque, Garance Doré, Zoe Kravitz… this could take all year!

A closer look at the program smelled even more of recently-earned success; reaffirming Wang’s domination of Fashion Week (beware Marc Jacobs!): Interview’s Karl Templer styling, Guido Palau on hair; Anja Rubik slated to walk in a black Nappa-backed shearling hoodie and crêpe pant with bonded leather panel... Has Wang gone kinky and street? we wondered.

“Who the hell is that?” we asked Refinery29’s Annie Georgia Greenberg.

“Die Antwoord [Ninja and Yo-Landi Visser]!” She yelled. “… South African… They’re in the new ad campaign.”

“The one in the golden hoodie looks like an alien,” The Observer grimaced.

Frederic Sanchez’s booming soundtrack gave the impression that we were under attack. It’s not just Mr. Wu that has warriors—Wang has a masked army too!

Techno fabrics, fishnet knits, and vinyl placket-embellished outwear were severely structured. Move out of Wang’s way!

The Observer would commit a felony to score a pair of Daga’s ion laminated panel trompe-l'œil pants; or Abby Lee’s peroxide smocked leather tank dress and black Kolfinna boots! Pony up quick! They’ll sell out for sure.

After 31 impressively haunting looks, the program read: “PLEASE STAY SEATED…”

That’s a first.

Another tempest began (cue Sanchez): Alexander Wang then sent out an additional dozen or so looks on a cast of models that had us hurling obscenities in disbelief!

“Was that Giselle? That was Gisele Bündchen!” Screeched Carly Leach, also in section A.

“Are you sure? Well that’s definitely Joan Smalls and Karolína Kurková,” The Observer replied.

Confirmed. The biggest names in modeling were now masked, in stunning Wang urban couture, facing individual mirrors. They collectively unmasked before filing out.

Had a new King of New York fashion been crowned?

Wang bounced through the haze to take an enthusiastic bow, leaving us all to debate. We say yup—“All hail Wang!”

The cops are on the case of your missing phone (Apple.com)

Good news for everyone who has had their iPhone stolen (or probably just lost it somewhere last night when they blacked out, but "stolen" sounds so much less humiliating): The NYPD has officially put out a memo telling its officers about the amazing Find My Phone app, which could allow them to retrieve your missing Apple product from the back of your taxi, where you left it.

From The New York Post:

"If a complainant is reporting the theft of an Apple Corp. product, ascertain if they have access to Apple's 'cloud' environment AND have previously activated 'location services' on said device."

But there's a catch. Well, two catches. The first being that you would have needed to activate your iCloud account before you lost--er--had your phone stolen, since otherwise the GPS-based tracking system will not be turned on.

Secondly, the NYPD does not provide its officers with iPhones, which you need in order to access the Find My Phone app. So hopefully someone at the precinct decided not to go with the Droid with the modified Taser function, and will be able to spend their time and taxpayers' dollars and hunting down missing 4gs.

Or you could save everyone the trouble and just ask your friend to borrow their iPhone,  in the off-chance that you are able to locate the phone by yourself with coordinates that line up to that bar your were partying at last night. Since there are obviously much better uses for Find My Phone, as demonstrated by this testimony on the app's website:

To start I am a Sheriffs Deputy, i have this device on my ipad and both my wifes and my own iphone 4. She recently wrecked our 2009 Dodge Charger in the country with our 6 month old daughter in the carseat. She was knocked unconsious. I could not reach her so i used the app and tracked her phone. I was an on duty officer who thanks to this very app was 1st on scene at my wifes accident and got her and our daughter the help they needed. Once i had the location I dispatched a medic and assistance while enroute. Thank you thank you Apple. Fyi they are both without serious injuries.

Still, having cops locate cellphone-stealing perps with Find My Phone beats their previous method of just pretending to be drunk.

Linmorabilia

With "Linmania" sweeping Knicks fans (and Chris Hayes) off their feet, it makes sense that everyone who has come in contact with the Hahvad-educated point guard is currently trying to monetize the situation. JP Moore from Buzzfeed was the first to find these yearbooks from Jeremy Lin's middle school on Ebay, but we won't be putting down $4,800 to "Buy It Now" until we get the signature on one of these babies authenticated.

The description for the signed 7th grade yearbook reads:

YOU WILL RECEIVE AN AUTHENTIC ORIGINAL JEREMY LIN YEARBOOK WITH HIS PHOTO, SIGNATURE, AND A NOTATION TO A FRIEND FROM JLS MIDDLE SCHOOL WHEN JEREMY WAS IN 7TH GRADE IN THE YEAR 2001.

INCLUDED ARE HIS PHOTO, AUTHOGRAPH, AND A NOTATION AS WELL AS THE ENTIRE JLS MIDDLE SCHOOL YEARBOOK.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO EMAIL WITH ANY QUESTIONS OR FOR MORE INFORMATION.

THANK YOU.

Apparently, the seller (who goes by the name Doida and ships from Palo Alto, California) or whomever he bought the books from had a falling out with Mr. Lin, because the 8th grade JLS yearbook does not include the NBA star's signature.

So far, three offers have been made to buy the signed books, and all three have been declined, as the seller obviously thinks the worth of Mr. Lin's signature will only increase.

Just think of how much money Mr. Lin's brother could make if he sold his couch today.

OMG, MEME!

Scene: Lincoln Center, Mercedes-Benz Lounge after Mara Hoffman's Saturday show.

Fashion Blogger One: Have you seen that "Shit Fashion Girls Say" video??

Fashion Blogger Two: So funny!

FB One and Two: (in unison) "Oh my god, I love truffle fries!"

FB One: Wait, have you seen "Shit Gay Guys Say to Their Cats?"

FB One: Probably, right?

FB Two: Yeah...I love memes.

Twenty-second Annual Tibet House Benefit Concert, Carnegie Hall, 881 Seventh Avenue, 7:30 p.m. Tickets, from $33, available by calling Carnegie Charge at 212-247-7800.