Flackery is all well and good, and Felder sure could use some sensible PR guidance. Comptroller-wannabe Felder's little pigeon morology, if turned into legislation and passed by his buddies on the council, will cost the city a cool $8-$10 million. Based on prior form (you think pigeon control is a new issue), it won't work.

This might be a good thing. Pigeons are diurnal, and they eat up all those pizza crusts and half-munched hot-pretzels during the day before the rats get to them. Better pigeons you can't get sick from (sic the city health dept, as well as CDC and NCID) than rats who are vectors for all sorts of human diseases, and hosts to still other human disease vectors. Then too, if Felder has his way, we will be treated to the sight of pigeons being ripped apart live, by hawks and accipitrine robots -- so edifying for the tourists. They can take home a pigeon snuff film as a souvenir of Gotham.

Simcha, regardless of his name, is a rather sad sort of person; Eric Kuo will have his work cut out for him.