By Meredith Bryan on April 7, 2009
Wednesday, April 8
Topshop pops in! For a spot of tea and taxis full of New York crumpets! Or is that strumpets? Get me rewrite! Get me makeup! POOF! The British den of shmatte finally opened, fanning the flickering flame of female consumerism from the Upper East Side to Williamsburg (but boy does it feel good to buy stuff, huh, sister girlfriends?) and heightening our fear of the spring minidresses due to be dangling from nubile trust-funders in Nicole Richie sunglasses. Meanwhile, we’ve sent the mother country Michelle Obama, who has been doing her part to reinvigorate print media by showing up in a new outfit outside a new palace every two hours while her hubby discusses important stuff with other world leaders. And speaking of the world! Highbrow event of the week is Lincoln Center’s African Film Festival, with the U.S. premiere of Behind the Rainbow, a documentary directed by Jihan El-Tahri about the formation of the African National Congress, featuring interviews with Jacob Zuma and Thabo Mbeki.
[New York African Film Festival, April 8 to April 25, www.africanfilmny.org for schedule]
Thursday, April 9
Why is it still acceptable to celebrate vehicles around here? New York socialites (deeply invested in the fate of Detroit because of their car services) fete the 2009 New York International Auto Show with a “gala preview” also serving as a benefit for the East Side House Settlement! Expect male socialite Kipton Cronkite—recently charged with being of no relation to Walter, contrary to his earlier claims!—a smattering of social gals yet untainted by the whiff of recession scandal, like Arden Wohl, Beth Rudin DeWoody and Melissa Berkelhammer; the delightfully monikered Chappy Morris and his much younger wife, Melissa—who is best known for blogging about the adventures of the couple’s dog; Italian stallion and man-about-town Filippo Arcieri; and Park Avenue doc Darrick Antell, no doubt plastic surgeon to many of the aforementioned. …
[East Side House Settlement Gala Preview, the Jacob Javits Center, 11th Avenue at 35th Street, 6 p.m.]
Friday, April 10
Well hellooooo! Comedian Jay Mohr—i.e., cute asshole-ish sports agent Bob Sugar in Jerry Maguire—called from Santa Monica to discuss his stand-up engagement at the Gotham Comedy Club, where he planned to impersonate people like Harvey Keitel and Tracy Morgan. “I have an actual showbiz story that’s happened to me for each impression,” he said. “I have an actual Christopher Walken story. I have a Tracy Morgan story—‘SOMEONE’S GETTIN’ PREGNANT TONIGHT!’” He revealed that he sometimes walks around his house yelling this, to the annoyance of his wife. “The impressions have taken on a life of their own,” he said. There was noise in the background. “Let me turn down Beverly Hills Chihuahua,” said Mr. Mohr, explaining that he and his first wife have a 6-year-old. “He was born two months premature, because he couldn’t wait to get away from her either!” KA-boing! (Mr. Mohr has since remarried).
[Jay Mohr at Gotham Comedy Club, 208 West 23rd Street, 8:30 and 10:30 p.m., www.gothamcomedyclub.com]
Saturday, April 11
Where’s our Lost box set when we need it? Performance artist and cool-chick-about-downtown Laurie Anderson attracts N.Y.U. lit theory majors (and Velvet Underground groupies hoping for a Lou Reed sighting) to her talk, “Language Is a Virus,” with cognitive scientist Steven Pinker, as part of the Rubin Museum of Art’s Brainwave Festival. Let’s hope she brings her talking stick, the coolest instrument invented since the theremin! But speaking of, you know what’s really a virus? Those ubiquitous I Dream of Genie pants! Ladies, you look ridiculous! Do you think Carla Bruni Sarkozy owns a pair? We’re betting no, she doesn’t. So you don’t need to, either!
[Language Is a Virus, Rubin Museum of Art, 150 West 17th Street, 6 p.m., www.rmanyc.org] Sunday, April 12
Pass the ham and guilt! WASPs retreat to the suburbs to celebrate Easter with the family before escaping early to avoid “traffic” (i.e., further questions about the declining vitality of our ovaries). Those lucky enough to have no relatives should consider getting as high as possible and skating around the Rockefeller Center ice rink with … you guessed it, the Easter Bunny! Wait, no, that would be terrifying.
[Easter Bunny at Rockefeller Center’s Ice Rink, 20 West 50th Street, 9 a.m. to 9 p.m.]
Monday, April 13
Musical theater marches on! Go ahead, you try writing, producing and starring in a new musical … all in 24 hours! “I did the inaugural one last year,” said actor and musical star Cheyenne Jackson—recently named Out magazine’s 2008 Entertainer of the Year—who called the experience “insane.” (Other participants will include Bebe Neuwirth, Idina Menzel, Rachel Dratch and Mo Rocca). “It’s like a musical version of Saturday Night Live, but hyped up on Red Bull. Everyone’s so sleep-deprived. During our dinners and lunch breaks, we’re sitting in the corner shoving food in our faces while we’re trying to memorize lyrics and harmonies and such. … It’s all your brain can do to keep moving forward. We’re looking at each other like, ‘Can you believe we’re fucking doing this?’” We can’t! Later, gracefully aging art star Jeff Koons—he once married a porn star, don’t try that at home, kids! —and Warhol affiliate Glenn O’Brien appear at the Strand to pass on their wisdom to the next generation of urban, uh, downtown lifestyle innovators, discussing topics such as Mr. Koons’ recent exhibit at the Palace of Versailles. Vive la France!
[The 24 Hour Musicals, Gramercy Theatre, 127 East 23rd Street, 7 p.m., www.24hourplays.com; Jeff Koons at the Strand, 7 p.m., www.strandbooks.com]
Tuesday, April 14
Were you raised in a leafy Northeastern suburb, partaking of keg parties involving Jeeps in a field and a possible misplacement of virtue with that blond lacrosse player? Relive those beautiful moments tonight as the Dave Matthews Band wafts into town. Meanwhile, Hollywood power publicist Peggy Siegal hosts a glam Ziegfeld premiere for the Drew Barrymore–Jessica Lange—she lives with Sam Shepard, don’t try that at home, kids!—flick Grey Gardens, an HBO remake of the 1975 cult documentary and a newly prescient tale for our time, as it chronicles the descent into poverty and madness of a couple of former socialites (and Kennedy cousins) put out to pasture in the Hamptons after fleeing the city. Where do we sign up?
[Dave Matthews Band at Madison Square Garden, 7:30 p.m., www.ticketmaster.com; Grey Gardens premiere at the Ziegfeld, 141 West 54th Street, 7 p.m., invite only]
Wednesday, April 15
It’s Tax Day, and sisters do we ever want an extension, if you know what we mean! It’s the day when the government takes pity on us for failing to live up to our potential and, unlike our parents, gives us some money for it! Those who have conquered the world, meanwhile, gather for Condé Nast Traveler’s (still kicking as of press time!) annual Hot List party, celebrating international hotels and restaurants du jour. (Lesson learned this week: best to indulge before the government freezes your assets!) “The world is, literally, on sale,” emailed Traveler editor in chief Klara Glowczewska. “There has rarely been a more opportune time to travel than now. … Among the countries where your dollar buys you significantly more than it did this time last year are Iceland, Mexico, Australia, New Zealand and South Africa. Hawaii and Las Vegas are a steal. … Also look at large luxury hotels that usually hold corporate meetings; they’ve got a ton of empty rooms to fill!” Say no more, Ms. Glowczewska—our passport is already in our fanny pack!
[Condé Nast Traveler Hot List Party, Pranna, 79 Madison Avenue, 7 p.m., invite only]
mbryan@observer.com