Wednesday, April 29

Pinch my ASME: Portfolio, ’twas good to know ya. … And speaking of the ailing print media: The American Society of Magazine Editors (ASME) holds their annual meeting at the Princeton Club—tiger sis-boom-bah!—with Times and Fortune scribes on a panel titled “The Economy and Your Magazine.” Sounds like a fun way to spend an afternoon. … Later, get seduced and betrayed by New Yorker writer Janet Malcolm as she discusses her new book on fat lesbos Gertrude Stein and Alice B. Toklas with Wendy Lesser, editor of a little magazine called The Threepenny Review. “Janet and I run into each other at a lot of literary things,” Ms. Lesser said. “I have interviewed her onstage before and she likes to be interviewed by me. So every time she gets asked to do something she says, ‘Can Wendy interview me?’ One time she got asked to do something in Australia, and she said, ‘Will you pay for Wendy’s first-class ticket, too?’ They said no.” Bugger! Meanwhile, over at the Waldorf, former Estee Lauder spokesmodel Elizabeth Hurley—a woman who’s dated more losers than we have—joins her former boss Evelyn Lauder and wattled crooners Elton John and Liza Minnelli for the Breast Cancer Research Foundation’s Hot Pink Party, sponsored by Hearst and Condé Nast. (Hey, is it just us or does breast cancer get waaay more attention than other kinds of cancer? Is this not more evidence of magazines’ total obsession with breasts?)

 [ASME Annual Meeting, Princeton Club, 15 West 43rd Street, 12 p.m., 212-872-3736; Janet Malcolm at the 92nd Street Y, 1395 Lexington Avenue, 7:30 p.m., www.92y.org; the Hot Pink Party, the Waldorf-Astoria, Park Avenue at 50th Street, 7 p.m., 646-497-2622]

 

Thursday, April 30

going dutch? Just when the so-called “social season” was startin’ to feel a bit stuffy, here comes the 17th Annual Antique Garden Furniture Show Preview Party and Collectors’ Plant Sale at the New York Botanical Garden to air things out a bit. (We have been needing a begonia for the terrace!) Expect plenty of people named Newhouse, Frick and Hearst; a scattered Bunny and Topsy (we’re still talking about the people, not the flora and fauna); and an important exhibit of Dutch flowers, including one specimen called the Narcissus Sorbet—which sounds like what they’ve been serving over at Sweetiepie, hel-lo! Further south, there’s the competing “preview party” of the International Fine Art Fair for the benefit of the Frick, with even more wackily named committee members like Ambassador J. William Middendorf II and two people named Daisy and Dewey Nippert Ames. We commonfolk meanwhile are stuck with authors Z(zz)adie Smith and Jonathan Safran Snore, sorry, Foer “in conversation” at N.Y.U.

[17th Annual Antique Garden Furniture Show Preview Party & Collectors’ Plant Sale, New York Botanical Garden, Bronx River Parkway and Fordham Road, the Bronx, 6 p.m., 718-817-8775; Preview Opening of the International Fine Art Fair, Park Avenue Armory, Park Avenue at 67th Street, 6 p.m., 212-547-0706; Zadie Smith and Jonathan Safran Foer at N.Y.U., Vanderbilt Hall, Tishman Auditorium, 40 Washington Square South, 7 p.m., 212-998-8816]

 

Friday, May 1

Sacco to me: After screening its cheery new documentary on the child sex trade in America at the Tribeca Film Festival, the Nest Foundation, a group dedicated to raising awareness about exploitation, has a gala at the Bowery Hotel hosted by fauxhemian socialite Arden Wohl, genius actress Catherine Keener, granddaughter of Walt Abigail Disney and—dash of intelligentsia!—beetled-browed Brooklyn author Jonathan Lethem. Not enough, you say? How about a host committee that includes, deep breath, club queen Amy Sacco; socialites Claire Bernard, Coralie Charriol Paul, Amanda Hearst, Annelise Peterson and Jennifer Creel; art dealer Amy Greenspan; Michelle Obama clothier Thakoon; young actress Leven Rambin; designers Cynthia Rowley and Camilla Staerk; and model and Jack White wife Karen Elson. Sold!

[Nest Foundation Gala, the Bowery Hotel, 335 Bowery, 9 p.m., 646-417-8302]

 

Saturday, May 2

My Life in Ruins— this is the title of a new movie by My Big Fat Greek Wedding’s  Nia Vardalos, not the general state of things since our big-cheese editor announced he’s entering his “third act” (idea: sexy geezer!) and we began consoling ourselves with a repeating loop of Susan Boyle on YouTube. Anyway, a screening of Nia’s new movie is closing the Tribeca Film Festival (finally), after which they’ll be a party at Pylos, a Greek joint in the East Village. “Nia is a very special person in so many ways,” emailed Ms. Vardalos’ hunky co-star Alexis Georgoulis, who is apparently a very big star in Greece. “Not only is she multitalented, but also knows how to use her talents in the most favorable way. … I remember that when I watched the movie for the first time, I was so excited because it was the first U.S. movie that I enjoyed and was in it at the same time!” Ouzo for all! Also tonight, Upper West Side dive bars fill up with former bankers loaded up on Lexapro for the Kentucky Derby! More civilized option: Esquire editor David Granger mixes mint juleps at one of Danny Meyer’s restaurants, Eleven Madison Park. “When I was single, I used to host an annual Derby party in my apartment called ‘Meyer at the Wire,’” the rakish Mr. Meyer told us. ’ The year I did it up the best was really a ploy to get (my now wife) Audrey into my apartment. We hadn’t had a date yet. Twenty-five people showed up, and she called that morning to say she wouldn’t be able to make it because she had strep throat.” Apparently things worked out, though. Mr. Meyer went on to call Mr. Granger “a genius and a pal.” And Esquire? “It’s what I read every month while getting my hair cut.”

[My Life in Ruins screening, BMCC Tribeca PAC, West Side Highway at Chambers Street, 7 p.m., invite only; Pylos, 128 East Seventh Street, invite only; Eleven Madison Park Derby Party, 11 Madison Avenue, 3 p.m. to 7 p.m., www.elevenmadisonpark.ticketleap.com]

Sunday, May 3

Thakoon in a room: The New York Times’ snippy retort to the New Yorker Festival, a.k.a. “Sunday With The Magazine,” purports to focus on the president’s first 103 days in office yet rolls out newly engaged exhibitionist and unstoppable force of capitalism Marc Jacobs and Michelle Obama clothiers Thakoon, Narciso Rodriguez and Maria Cornejo—lest you wonder who’s really propping up print media these days! Ahem, it’s the fashion writers! We called up super-hot Times White House correspondent Peter Baker, who will be sitting on a panel with fellow Timespeople Helene Cooper and Matt Bai (this before a Tyra Banks talk) to find out how the first 103 days have been for him. “It’s been sort of nonstop action,” he reported from Washington as our knees knocked. “North Korea launching missiles, to the banks still in crisis, and the auto industry collapsing and talks with Russia and trips to Mexico, the stimulus bill, and don’t forget the dog. I have not met the dog. The last one bit us, so we’re all a little wary I think.”

[The Times Center, 242 West 41st Street, 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., www.sundaywiththemagazine.com]

 

Monday, May 4

Oscars of the East! In a flurry of flashbulbs, blowouts and expensive borrowed ball gowns, Anna Wintour and Co. (see cover story!) descend on the Met, accompanied by at least half of CAA’s roster, for the annual Costume Institute Benefit. Theme: “The Model as Muse,” celebrating models as a force of inspiration. (Hmm, when have models inspired us to do anything other than not eat a second cupcake?) Good luck braving the receiving line, which promises the highest-octane crowd of co-hosts in memory: the aforementioned Mr. Jacobs—reportedly bringing ’90s kitsch figures Courtney Love and Madonna—model–Topshop mogul Kate Moss and the excruciatingly white R&B singer Justin Timberlake. Striving Hollywood starlets wondering why no one is noticing them on the red carpet them clearly took no hints from Mrs. Tom Brady’s “visible side-boob” get-up last year!

[The Costume Institute Benefit, Metropolitan Museum of Art, 7 p.m., invite only]

 

Tuesday, May 5

fur flies at the four seasons? “Whatever misery I’ve inflicted on them, they’re going to find a way to give it back to me,” said Four Seasons proprietor Julian Niccolini, speaking of his restaurant’s 50th Anniversary Benefit for Citymeals-on-Wheels, at which he will be mercilessly mocked, with co-owner Alex von Bidder, by the duo’s longtime patrons. The Friars Club it ain’t, but … Mr. Niccolini isn’t scared of Daniel Boulud (“He’s too kind”) but is bracing for zingers from Blackstone co-founder Pete Peterson: “He’s here every day. He’s been here every day for 30 years. … I’ve seen this guy in action and he’s pretty sharp. He’s one of the best writers around.” And fellow restaurateur Drew Nieporent: “It could be bad. … It’s very easy to dig up dirt on people these days,” Mr. Niccolini added. “You just Google people’s names and there you have it. Thank God I’ve only been married once.”

 [Four Seasons Roast to benefit Citymeals-on-Wheels, 99 East 52nd Street, 6:30 p.m., 212-754-9494]

 

Wednesday, May 6

Massive Muffy meet-up: Who cares if our husbands have lost all their money, let’s convene in our hats for a nice placid luncheon at the Central Park Conservatory Garden honoring Frederick Law Olmsted, shall we, ladies? (Y’know, he was the man who invented all that landscape architecture they use in rooftop gardens in the East 70s. And meanwhile, a simple begonia for the terrace is all we’re asking). The haute chapeaux’ed will include Tara Rockefeller, Gillian Miniter, Vogue special events director Stephanie Winston Wolkoff and, dear lord, someone actually named Muffy (Miller). Munch, munch, mumble, munch!

[Central Park Conservancy’s Frederick Law Olmsted Awards Luncheon, 105th Street and Fifth Avenue,11 a..m., 212-310-6618]

mbryan@observer.com