Wednesday, May 20

Everybody’s talking about bailing out desperate homeowners and disgraced hedge funders—but for God’s sake, who will save the skinny trouser manufacturers? Fashion news Web site Refinery 29 begins a monthlong sale called “Save Fashion”—with a special focus this week on men, those horny, hairy beasts. “We didn’t actually come up with the name ‘Save Fashion’ as any sort of rescue mission,” said Christene Barberich, the site’s editor. “It was about restoring this more positive feeling about fashion and shopping, because the economy put sort of a sour look on shopping. …” Pucker up: The sale will be held at the Port Authority, which means our real estate editor is psyched. “It seemed so random but also kind of perfect. It gave designers that are usually at Jeffrey or in Nolita this much bigger”—and dingier!—platform.” Meanwhile, photographer Patrick McMullan’s son Liam, who once told The Observer he’s “been too high lately to be terrified of anything,” turns up on the committee of a Make-A-Wish benefit, along with photo agency owners Scott Buccheit and Naeem Akil Delbridge. Who says there’s no A-list left in this town? Hang on—this just in to save our evening! Cabala babe Michael Berg, urban-enlightened designer Donna Karan and The Observer’s lithe wunderkind publisher, Jared Kushner, are hosting a reception for prolific artist Peter Tunney, and a portion of any artworks purchased benefits the charity Spirituality for Kids. Ohm shanti, sisters!

[Save Fashion, the Port Authority, Blank SL8, 641 Eighth Avenue, www.savefashion.com; Spring into Action & Help Make Wishes Come True, Antik, 365 Bowery, 9 p.m., 917-628-7585; Peter Tunney’s Spirituality for Kids event, the Peter Tunney Experiment, 666 Fifth Avenue, 6 p.m. to 9 p.m.]

 

Thursday, May 21

The grungy metropolis of Portland, Ore.—such a popular Plan B these days that it actually advertises for New Yorkers in The New Yorker—has an ambitious little art museum, the Portland Institute for Contemporary Art (PICA—isn’t that also the name of the disease that has one eating fistfuls of dirt?), and it’s hosting a party with Paper magazine at the Ace Hotel, a Portland export, where the house drink will—sudden, paralyzing mid-’90s flashback—be Stumptown coffee. Luckily, someone explained to these Pacific Northwesterners that in these parts, you also need sponsored vodka and a committee, so they’ve wrangled scenester filmmaker Chiara Clemente, unstoppable music legend Laurie Anderson, art star Ryan Trecartin, Kenny Mellman of Kiki & Herb and Guido van der Werve, whom we’ve never heard of but obviously had to mention. Crash strategy: flannel.

[29 West 29th Street, 9 p.m., rsvp@pica.org]

 

Friday, May 22

Twenty-three-year-olds in velour Juicy sweatpants with logos across their pert bottoms stuff the Jitney in order to sit motionless on the highway for hours, oblivious to the fact that the whole Hamptons thing has kind of lost its oomph, now that, ya know, we’re poor! But you know who’s not poor? Alec Baldwin! Tonight the acting genius, star of 30 Rock and parent hosts a screening of The Cove—an upbeat little piece of celluloid about dolphins in Japan and pollution, and how the world is going to hell (in other words, it won the audience award for Best Documentary at Sundance)—for people who eco-consciously took the private helicopter out. Bring sleeping bags. …

[Guild Hall Grand Re-Opening: Alec Baldwin Hosts the Hamptons International Film Festival, The Cove screening, John Drew Theater, Guild Hall of East Hampton, 158 Main Street, 8 p.m., 631-324-4050]

 

Saturday, May 23

GUILD-Y PLEASURE? … because tonight it’s back to the (newly face-lifted) Guild Hall for its grand reopening gala, hosted by Broadway star Liza Minnelli! Watch out for our political reporter hiding in the bushes. …

[Guild Hall Grand Re-Opening Gala: An Intimate Evening With Liza Featuring Billy Stritch, John Drew Theater, East Hampton, 7 p.m., 631-324-0806]

 

Sunday, May 24

Speaking of pert bottoms! SoulCycle—the haute uptown spinning gym beloved by Allure editor Linda Wells and famous wives Caryn Zucker and Katie Lee Joel—has taken up residence in a Bridgehampton barn, where it will attend high-net-worth derrieres through September, yee-haw! Today, a DJ will be there to celebrate. Meanwhile, back in the city, walk like an Egyptian to midtown and see best ’80s band ever the Biddies, er, the Bangles!

[SoulCycle Bridgehampton, 264 Butter Lane, from 7 a.m., 212-787-3630; the Bangles at B. B. King Blues Club and Grill, 237 West 42nd Street, 7:30 p.m., doors open at 6 p.m., www.ticketmaster.com]

Monday, May 25

Soldiers and wars to commemorate today, people, and out in the ho-ho-Hamptons, the action seems to be limited to … a Sappho Hike at the Quogue Wildlife Refuge? No gents allowed, and lest that fact get you gents extra-excited, we gently remind you of the old Saturday Night Live sketch where a man fantasizes about two women in bed together, and it winds up being two Birkenstock wearers slobbering yogurt all over each other.

[3 Old Country Road, 11 a.m. to 1 p.m., 631-294-2057]

 

Tuesday, May 26

Skinny soprano! For a final dose of highbrow before the summer stupor really sets in: Famously slimmed-down soprano Deborah Voigt appears tonight with the New York City Opera Orchestra. “I play Alceste; she’s a magnificent character,” cooed Ms. Voigt when we reached her at her hotel in Paris, where she was performing Verdi. “She’s very noble, basically pledges her life in exchange for her husband’s as part of a bargain to the gods. … She’s quite the woman!” We’ll say. Ms. Voigt shed over 100 pounds after being fired by the Royal Opera House in 2004 for not being able to fit into a little black dress (after the weight loss she was rehired, and commemorated the occasion by posting a humorous video on YouTube). “It’s such a tired story at this point,” Ms. Voigt said with a sigh. “It’s like, enough already! It felt great to put that dress on, as it feels great to put on a lot of other dresses in my life.” O.K., we’ll refrain from asking if she spins! Ms. Voigt revealed that pre-performance, she likes to “sleep as late as I can. I’m pretty quiet, I tend not to do much of anything, I might have a meal around 3:30 … I have the same recurring dream that a lot of artists have, that they’re not in the right place at the right time in the right costume singing the right opera. …” We think they make a pill for that.

[Gluch’s Alceste, Jazz at Lincoln Center’s Rose Theater, 8 p.m., 646-792-2373]

 

Wednesday, May 27

do the Wave: Stash the flannel, get out the gingham: A luscious garden in the Bronx called Wave Hill today honors what a press release trillingly calls its “Magnificent Trees,” with a gala featuring sunset cocktails and dinner chaired by jeweler Janet Mavec. Expected: a slew of shrubbery-loving social types including Susan Sarnoff Bram, Susan Morgenthau and Cathy Marks Weinroth. But if Muffie Potter Aston doesn’t come in one of her little cardis, we’re stayin’ home and watching Real Housewives of Whatever County! And that’s a threat, not a promise!

[Wave Hill’s Year of the Trees Gala, West 249th Street and Independence Avenue, the Bronx, 7 p.m., 718-549-3200, ext. 310]

mbryan@observer.com