The door to DR. SELMAN’s office was closed and Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful” could be heard playing. At 7 p.m. DR. SELMAN waved them in; HILLY showed off her new engagement ring.

DR. SELMAN: Let me check it out in the light.

HILLY: O.K. Well, it’s too big, so I have a ribbon around it.

Dr. SELMAN: Wow, nice.

GEORGE: Yeah, it’s over a hundred years old and it was my great-great-great grandmother’s. Or maybe my great-great grandmother’s. But I’m certain that my father gave it to my mother.

DR. SELMAN: How did you go about presenting it?

GEORGE: Well, last time we were here, she gave me the ultimatum, right? So I got pretty serious and she reiterated that threat a few times, said she was going to move out. So I got to work, swiped one of her rings and took it to Verdura, where it was sized. So then what happened?

HILLY: It was on December 19, it was about 7:14 p.m. and it was the best day ever. I was at work and George called and asked if I wanted to meet him for dinner. I was a little suspicious, because he said he made actual reservations at this place that we’ve been to before, Zarela, this delicious Mexican restaurant. So I got there first and then he showed up and we started chitchatting, and then he kind of cut me off and said, “Oh, Hilly, I’ve got something for you.” I said, “Oh really? What’s that?” And he pulled out this box that said “Verdura” on it and I got really excited. He put it in front of me and I said, “Can I open it?!” I opened it and inside there was a beeswax candle, and I said, “Oh, that looks cool.” And he said, “There’s something else in there,” and I pulled out this little pink pig. It was a little plastic key ring with a button on the pig’s head and when you press it, its snout lights up.

GEORGE: Got it at Gracious Home.

HILLY: And then he said “There’s something else,” and, you know, the box wasn’t so big, so I said, “What’s in there?” And I looked and I pulled out a pair of toe warmers, like you get at the drugstore. And I thought, Well, maybe there’s something underneath, but there wasn’t anything underneath. And I thought, Well that’s still really sweet, because he knows that my feet get really cold. And then I looked at him and he said, “I’m really sorry, you have to be patient with me, I just can’t do it right now.” And I stopped and I looked at the pig, and I was thinking about what I said before, that even if it was plastic, the ring didn’t have to be real or anything, it was about the gesture. And I couldn’t help thinking that the little piggy key holder was round, and somehow I could have that transformed into some kind of ring. And that’s when he said, “Just kidding!” And he pulled out another Verdura box and I opened it up and there it was! And it was glorious to behold. And I put it on my finger and I was so happy! So happy. And then this woman came over and tried to sing, and I pointed the piggy at her and she went away. And that same day, I got a Christmas card from Eddie Van Halen.

GEORGE: I decided that day we’d go to Zarela because I knew they had waiters who come over and sing opera and stuff, so I set that up, and right before I left to meet Hilly, I checked my favorite Web sites and there were some really negative, mean comments on one of them—about me. And it really jolted me. Here I’m about to go give this ring to Hilly, big moment in my life, in her life, and I have to read that I’m a selfish, narcissistic loser: “I’ve always considered George Gurley to be a complete loser.” And someone else compared me to the guy in Out of Africa who gave Meryl Streep syphilis.

DR. SELMAN: This was based on the column?

GEORGE: I think so. Maybe some other things, too. So I had these commenter comments in my head and this was terrible timing. Here I am, an hour away from getting engaged, and I have these comments in my head. So I had to push these thoughts out of my head, and get into a better mood to propose to Hilly. I had to come up with something fast, so I thought about when I was that age—because I picture these commenters, they’re 25 years old, graduated from Wesleyan and now here they’re here in New York and no one’s paying attention to them, no one cares about their degree in comparative literature or herstory, and then they’ll read something like this column and something goes off in their brain—“Heyyyy, wait a second, I’m smarter than that guy! What about me? It’s my turn. Why do I have to work at this crappy job, and he doesn’t even have to go into an office? He goes out every night and sits around all day in his pajamas. …” So then I started thinking, that’s real power. I took it a little farther, and thought, I’m probably one of the most powerful people in New York. Don’t have to get up in the morning. Don’t have to go into an office. Can Mayor Bloomberg do that? No.

Silence.

GEORGE: Then I wanted to cut these kids some slack because I was like them sometimes at their age—seething with envy.

DR. SELMAN: Did you actually ask her to marry you?

GEORGE: I don’t think it even got to—I think she was so excited. One thing I like to clarify is that the prank Verdura gift box—I wasn’t trying to torment her. I had the other one, the real one, right on my lap, ready.

DR. SELMAN: In case things got bad?

GEORGE: Oh yeah. To me it was a really good sign that they didn’t. Because other women, especially in New York, might have opened that box, seen a piggy key ring, and either started crying or stormed out or thrown a drink in my face—Hilly did nothing like that. She kept her composure. Unforgettable night.

HILLY: It’s been my dream since I was a young girl to have a ring from Verdura.

DR. SELMAN: A dream fulfilled.

HILLY: I can’t wait to get it sized. But that wasn’t his fault, he didn’t know that the ring that he had taken was a ring that I wear on a different finger.

GEORGE: So you can’t wear it?

HILLY: I just have this ribbon tied around it.

GEORGE: Uncomfortable?

HILLY: No, it’s fine, I’d just rather have the ribbon around it until I get it fitted. So it doesn’t have a chance of falling off.

GEORGE: So I’ve felt entirely one hundred percent good about this. Felt like I’ve made her happy, this is what she wanted, did the right thing. And then a couple days later, I went to a Christmas party and it sort of turned into a party for us, right? There were toasts and people coming up to me and screaming, “Congratulations!” I wasn’t prepared for this. But I thought, I did the thing and—

DR. SELMAN: The thing?

HILLY: Ha-ha!

GEORGE: The act—

DR. SELMAN: You can’t even say it.

GEORGE: Gave. Her. The. Ring. So it’s fine, it wasn’t that big a deal, but I was a little shocked at that party, felt like I’d entered into a cult. The looks on the faces—a little like Rosemary’s Baby. Hail, Satan!

DR. SELMAN: So now everything is perfect between you two?

HILLY: Pretty much. And then on Christmas morning George had to leave town for a story, but it was fine, and I spent time with my parents, and everybody was sending their congratulations and champagne and all kinds of nice stuff. So it’s been lots of fun. And I just felt so, so, so happy. Then I had my birthday, and you took me out to a fancy dinner with my friends.

GEORGE: Six hundred dollars. It’s okay. First we went to the Four Seasons, that was like $130, and then we went to Mr. Chow’s, that was about $500. It’s where Hilly wanted to go. At first we were seated next to a fat lady who stank, so we moved. And yes, at the apartment, people sent us bottles of champagne, magnums of champagne. I heard it all tasted delicious.

HILLY: Ha! Well, he would have been welcome to try it, but that’s when he was sequestered in his room for about three weeks, working nonstop—and the only thing he would come out of his room for would be to empty an ashtray or to get another Red Bull. He was like Britney Spears in there.

GEORGE: Do you know of a drug called Provigil?

DR. SELMAN: Yes. Keeps you awake.

HILLY: I want some of that.

DR. SELMAN: I think it’s overpriced. Nine dollars a pill.

GEORGE: I’d like it if they came out with a drug that is one-third an antidepressant, one-third maybe a pick-me-up and one-third a dash of euphoria. What was Britney Spears’ cocktail?

HILLY: The Purple Monster! It’s NyQuil, vodka and Red Bull.

GEORGE: It shows you that people have that desire for a mixture. Maybe if there was a pharmaceutical version, it would all balance out very nicely. Doesn’t seem to be working for her right now.

DR. SELMAN: Why do you ask about Provigil?

GEORGE: I heard it was a fantastic drug.

HILLY: I think our home life has been so much more pleasant. Don’t you think?

GEORGE: For the most part. This was the one thing you said you wanted, you said it would ease your mind, things would get better. But I’m wondering how long engagement-ring bliss lasts.

HILLY: As long as the champagne keeps coming!

GEORGE: Hilly ...

HILLY: I’m just kidding. But honestly, the fantastic thing is, even the smallest things—he’s had a couple of all-nighters. Case in point, two nights before my birthday. He came out of his room, went out and stayed out until 8 o’clock in the morning. And then he slept most of the day, didn’t talk to me, didn’t have a birthday card or anything, he was grouchy—and I would remind myself, all I have to do is look down and think, Well, hey, I’ve got the ring!

DR. SELMAN: So how much goodwill is that worth?

HILLY: A whole lot!

GEORGE: But for how long?

DR. SELMAN: That’s a good question.

GEORGE: Three months, six months—at what point are you going to get back into the mode you were in last fall, when you were saying, “I don’t wanna be one of these sucker-punched New York spinsters!”

HILLY: Well, I don’t think there needs to be a plan or anything. I’m just happy the way things have turned out. We’re more comfortable around each other, it’s easier for us to be honest around each other. Like we said before, when we feel ready for whatever the next step is, we’ll take care of it.

DR. SELMAN: The next step—

HILLY: I don’t know! For now it feels great. Maybe the next step is actually getting married. We’ll see. But right now, this is a time—at least for me—to think about how we made it this far and how you’re willing to make the commitment to me and vice versa, and to think about what the next steps are.

DR. SELMAN: I think it’s really great that you guys were able to make it this far.

GEORGE: What did you think the odds were?

DR. SELMAN: It depends on when you would have asked me. Personally I think that—more recently, I’m not surprised. If you’d asked me at the beginning, I probably would have said no.

GEORGE: I think you are a great therapist. It took me awhile to realize this, but you do what a good therapist should—you get people talking and you’re kind of neutral, but you’re steering the conversation. You kind of stay out of it.

DR. SELMAN: Thank you.

GEORGE: Thank you.

HILLY: It’s true, we’ve talked about this.

GEORGE: You’re obviously a man of great intelligence, but I think there’s a secret, subtle genius at work here. So I guess now we’re in a new phase, right?

DR. SELMAN: We’re in a new phase.

GEORGE: What’s going to happen now?

DR. SELMAN: That’s a good question. Where do we go from here? It’s kind of like climbing to the top of Mount Everest.

Silence.

HILLY: Now, I think it’s time for us to do some new thinking about each other’s needs and feelings. But, at the same time, really honing in on our own personal betterment—

DR. SELMAN: Let me just point out, I want to complete the analogy. Just getting to the top of Mount Everest is only half the trip. Getting down is not necessarily easy.

GEORGE: That’s where a lot of people die, right?

DR. SELMAN: A lot of disasters are on the way back.

GEORGE: So we’re at the summit and we’re going down? Wouldn’t you want to go higher?

DR. SELMAN: I think the goal would be to make it down in one piece.

GEORGE: What’s at the bottom of the mountain?

DR. SELMAN: Bliss. Opium. You can have your fill.

GEORGE: Hilly wanted to reschedule tonight and I had to kind of bribe her to come. Took her to Island for some appetizers and wine.

DR. SELMAN: Drinking before the therapy session?

GEORGE: Yes. Just one glass. After this, I want to bring Hilly downtown, I have tickets to see Donovan at the Cutting Room, then there’s a party. But you’re feeling kind of sleepy?

HILLY: Well, I’m sleepy and I have three big trips ahead of me. Tomorrow’s going to be my last day in the office for a week before I go to Puerto Rico, and then I’m coming back for one day in, and then I have to go away again for another week, to Milan. I just feel I have to be prepared, and I’m a sleepy person. I sleep a lot.

GEORGE: That’s one thing I’m a little frustrated about. It’s not her fault—she gets up early, 7 a.m. and works hard all day, and then she has after-work drinks. I have it pretty easy compared to her. Not having to go to an office is great on the one hand, it’s healthy—I think I’ll live longer—but it’s not all that stimulating, being by yourself all day. So when she gets home I’m pretty excited. And last night, I made her sit down and watch this movie The Celebration and she got all the way through it, which is rare. She has maybe three or four drinks a night, and she kind of drifts away, gradually gets more unresponsive, until she’s finally mute. She’s asleep by 12:30 a.m. and I go to bed by 4 a.m. usually. Then on the weekends, she’s tired Friday night, works on Saturday and pretty much sleeps the rest of the weekend.

HILLY: Yeah, I like to sleep a lot but it’s always worse in the winter. This time of year, I just go crazy, because I get so sick of being wrapped up in all of these clothes and inside and the dry air—oh, I just hate it, it’s horrible, it’s gray and miserable and I’m exhausted.

GEORGE: I like it. So I wanted to see if I could gracefully make a few other suggestions, put this out there, as far as Hilly’s energy level at home. I know I’ve got my own problems and issues and I’m not easy to get along with, but I was thinking the other night—you were watching the SAG awards with your friend Paul and both of you were laughing uproariously, having a ball, and I wish we could do that every night, once a night. But you usually come home at 9 o’clock, exhausted, and then you have to decompress, you take a very long shower, do some work, iron clothes, putter around, then you watch Law and Order, back-to-back episodes. I know it’s good quality TV and really smart people eat it up, but I’ve kind of grown to loathe it. And then maybe we’ll talk about the cat, fashion and gossip stuff, but then you become more and more inner and you pass out by midnight. That happens pretty much every night, and you work and sleep on the weekends. My question is, is this what it’s going to be like, always? Is this the way it’s going to be in 5 years, 10 years?

Silence.

GEORGE: So my suggestion is—you like to get to work an hour early, because no one’s there and you get more work done. I’m just wondering, what if instead of getting to work early—and I could never do this—but exercise for 45 minutes instead? And what if you actually decreased the Prozac, or had two drinks a night instead of four? Because I think the combination of the two is a bad cocktail.

DR. SELMAN: I don’t necessarily agree with you that Prozac and alcohol is a problem.

GEORGE: I just wish we could come up with some more things that we were both excited about, I guess we like The Shield and The Wire and talk about the cat. I just wish there was something else going on. I want more experiences with her, so it’s not a routine, so it’s not the same thing every night. We have done things that are spontaneous.

DR. SELMAN: Is there any way of meshing your schedules? It sounds like you’re the one with a flexible one.

HILLY: What I need is to be able to get everything I need done so I can maximize the short amount of time I have at home. What happens is, last night I came home and I was tired, but we watched the movie, then I went to sleep because I was too exhausted. When I take a shower and wash my hair, the drying process takes a long time.

GEORGE: You know, we have a billiards room in our building. That would be so cool if you started playing pool and got really good and we could do that together. I don’t like Taboo and you don’t like Scrabble—maybe we could play chess?

HILLY: I agree with you absolutely, but I can’t be relied upon to be the only person who comes up with these ideas. Not that you don’t bring ideas up, you definitely do. You mentioned Paul and me watching the SAG awards, and I was laughing? Paul doesn’t criticize me. If I’m making too much noise or my lotion smells or if you think I’m being too “inner”—you know, maybe I just woke up or something. There’s always something wrong with me. Or I said the wrong thing. Or you go into your room and shut the door without saying anything. All these little things just make me feel like I should probably not say anything or go into my room and be alone. If I want to watch Bill O’Reilly, like last night: “God, why don’t you want to watch this documentary on insects? Why don’t you ever want to learn anything? I already watched O’Reilly.” Well, I’ve been at my desk all day, I haven’t been able to get on the Internet, I don’t know what’s happened in the news.

GEORGE: What else do I complain about?

HILLY: You said I looked haggard.

GEORGE: What? I just wish you’d exercise more.

HILLY: Last night in the movie there was this 45-year-old lady, and you said I looked like her.

GEORGE: She was sexy, not over 40. I also said you look like the young waitress.

HILLY: You tell me I’m messy, but then whenever I try to clean up anything, you get mad at me. It’s part of your charm, I suppose.

DR. SELMAN: It sounds like George is hypercritical.

HILLY: And my mother is hypercritical, and so a lot of times, and not to be all psychoanalytical—but a lot of times I start to feel, I revert to this adolescent girl. And I think, my God, I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t. I should just run away.

GEORGE: And what’s something else I do every night?

HILLY: You bring Baba into my room and we cuddle. It’s so sweet.

GEORGE: What else?

HILLY: Oh! He gets the knots out.

GEORGE: I give her a serious, thorough, expert back massage every night. Get all that tension out.

DR. SELMAN: After you get home to Roosevelt Island, do you stay at home?

HILLY: That’s the thing, when I come home, he’s been at home and so he’s itching to go out and do something.

DR. SELMAN: So she gets home at 8 o’clock and you’ve been at home all day, and you want to go out?

GEORGE: Or some kind of activity at home. I go to bed at about 4 in the morning.

DR. SELMAN: Do you have to go to bed that late?

GEORGE: That’s when everything quiets down, e-mail stops, the phone stops ringing and I can concentrate.

DR. SELMAN: You have to change your hours maybe.

HILLY: You know what I think would work is, if we had some sort of pact to go to the gym together when I get home, even if it’s a night where I had to go out for a drink with someone, a glass of wine—or you’ve been out the night before.

GEORGE: I’ll do that.

HILLY: We’ll be together.

GEORGE: Do you think it would be a good idea to get separate apartments, until we work out all this stuff out?

Silence.

HILLY: No.

GEORGE: O.K. Just asking. In the same building?

DR. SELMAN: First of all, I don’t know what that would accomplish. How could you afford it?

HILLY: When you were away in the Caribbean, I laundered every single item of clothing you have, ironed it, organized it.

DR. SELMAN: I don’t understand why you have to stay up till 4 the morning.

GEORGE: The other thing is, when she’s around, even if she’s quietly watching Law and Order or Will and Grace, I can’t work because I always sense her presence, and little noises happen, and they make me nervous.

DR. SELMAN: It’s not that you’ve been out carousing? What do you do during the day?

GEORGE: I’m in front my computer, reading, e-mailing. Another thing I like to do is they’re all these guys in wheelchairs on Roosevelt Island. I could work with those guys. When I was in first or second grade, my teacher had me tutor some special-ed kids, and that really worked out. I’ve been wondering lately is if she put me in that class for other reasons.

DR. SELMAN: She thought you were—

GEORGE: Retarded, yeah.

HILLY: Ha-ha-ha! I have this collage of pictures of George as a little baby, and every time I go into my room, when I’m mad at him, I just look at it and he’s so sweet, and it cheers me up.

DR. SELMAN: We’ve been through all that, the pictures of George as a little kid. I’m just trying to look for ways that I can help you maintain stability, George, and make you feel better about going forward. So the thing that you brought out that’s so glaring is the disparity in your schedules. And you said that you’re one of the most powerful men in New York because you don’t have to get up in the morning—

GEORGE: Point of pride.

DR. SELMAN: So why can’t you meld your schedule to fit Hilly’s schedule? You’ll have much more fun together.

GEORGE: Is there a drug I can take, to get a new sleeping pattern?

DR. SELMAN: What do you take now?

GEORGE: Singulair and Zyrtec for my allergies and the occasional crumb of Klonopin, but I usually avoid that. I also have Tylenol 3.

DR. SELMAN [looking at his computer]: Let’s see, I’ve given you a prescription for Ambien, Seroquel—

GEORGE: Took that once.

DR. SELMAN: Vicodin

GEORGE: You gave me Vicodin?

DR. SELMAN: Abilify.

GEORGE: Never took it. Effexor, never took it. I think what I have to do is start getting up a half an hour, an hour earlier every day!

DR. SELMAN: So I guess the question becomes, what prevents you from doing work during the day in and being at Hilly’s level when she gets home?

GEORGE: No question about it, it’s a good idea. I haven’t experienced the morning—meaning gotten up in the morning—in a very long time.

DR. SELMAN: Why don’t you stay up all night and then stay up the entire next day and night and then go to bed at a regular time? That also gives you a kind of antidepressant effect. But you can’t take naps. That will reset your biological clock.

GEORGE: Can I take Adderall? I have been taking some and it helps me focus. Like a small dose.

DR. SELMAN: O.K., so let’s say you taken Adderall, so you don’t go to sleep one night, stay awake the entire next day and go to bed at 10 or 11 o’clock.

GEORGE: Okay, sounds good.

DR. SELMAN: And then once you do that, you’re on that schedule.

HILLY: And the next night he can’t stay up all night.

DR. SELMAN: Right, you have to go to bed at the same time

HILLY: And you have to wake yourself up, at 9 or 10.

GEORGE: [to DR. SELMAN]: Want to see Donovan with me? Got an extra ticket.

DR. SELMAN: I would, I really would, but I already made plans.