Let it never be said that Paris Hilton does not know how to turn PR lemons into lemonade. Back in August, the enterprising Ms. Hilton seized upon John McCain's use of her image in his now infamous "Celeb" ad in which he negatively compared Barack Obama's popularity to hers. While her mom (and McCain donor) Kathy Hilton got mad, calling the clip "frivolous" and "a waste of the country's time and attention," her daughter reminded us that frivolity and distraction are what this country is all about! In a surprisingly funny response video produced by Funnyordie.com, Ms. Hilton reasoned that her inclusion the McCain ad made her eligible for a White House run. 

And now that Paris Hilton once again has a TV show to promote, her fake campaign is marching on.  Above, we have another video from Funnyordie.com featuring Ms. Hilton. For this one, she enlisted the help of America's favorite fake president, Martin Sheen, who played President Jed Bartlet on The West Wing (in a call to Ryan Seacrest to inform the world of the video's existence, Ms. Hilton claimed that Mr. Sheen participated in the video because she happened to be "having a party in her gated Hollywood Hills home last week, which is just up the street from Charlie Sheen's house").

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Jude Law spent three days last week holed up in the Gramercy Park Hotel with a dancer he met at The Box. [P6] 

The Lower East Side's Chloe may be the new Beatrice Inn--plus, they're considering serving a full menu until 2 a.m. [Grub Street] 

At the New Yorker Festival, Clint Eastwood compared Angelina Jolie's talent to Meryl Streep's but added that she is "hampered by her gorgeous face." Meanwhile, Ms. Jolie told reporters that her secret to looking good after giving birth is "a great dress." [US Weekly]

Paris Hilton intends to have "three or four" children. [People]  read more »

Paris Hilton's flack is denying reports that the heiress left two of her many dogs outside to be mauled by coyotes, insisting that the Chihuahuas are "healthy and happy" in their "doggie mansion." [People] 

Gossip Girl's Penn Badgley said that Jessica Stroup and Shenae Grime of rival high school soap opera Beverly Hills 90210 should "eat a double cheeseburger or something" and praised his female co-stars for not being "bone-thin." [US Weekly] 

Reportedly, a first-class passenger on a flight with Ivana Trump offered to switch seats with the socialite after she was given a coach seat due a flight change. Her rep insists that this had nothing to do with her pouting or complaints about nearby children, but because the concerned stewardess, "asked someone to switch because Ivana always travels in first class.  read more »

Meghan McCain was overheard discussing new tattoo options with the editor of her new children's book, Mark Mcveigh, though she wants to wait until "after the election in November." [P6]

Paris Hilton has said, "Some celebrities become famous and they forget who they are or where they came from and they hide out like some recluse. I'm not going to do that." It's true, Hilton would really have to lose touch with her roots to become a recluse. [US Weekly]

Anne Hathaway was quoted as saying, "I'm not the sort of girl that will throw up on a short skirt and tease her hair up." Neither are we! [NYDN]

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Paris Hilton is defending the Jonas Brothers' decision to wear promise rings, saying virginity is "a cool thing for a kid to keep." [US Weekly]

Lil' Wayne cancelled his performance at Fashion Rocks rather than endure a mandatory security check. [P6] 

The Eldridge is now adding people to its semi-exclusive guest list via Facebook. [Down By The Hipster] 

The drama at MSNBC continues, with sources saying that Jeff Immelt, the head of parent-company GE, was directly involved in the decision to demote squabbling anchors Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann. [P6]  read more »

Jessica Alba did not approve of all the stars-and-stripes themed outfits at the Democratic National Convention, but still felt "fortunate" to be there. [Celebrity Myspace]

Bristol Palin and putative fiance Levi Johnston were sporting tattoos of each other's names at the Republican National Convention last night.[US Weekly] 

Paris Hilton has canceled two screenings of Adrian Petty's film "Paris, Not France" at the Toronto International Film Festival "in an attempt to gain more publicity for [the] new documentary about herself." [P6]  read more »

Nineteen-year-old British socialite Peaches Geldof (daughter of Live Aid impresario Bob Geldof) announced that she married 23-year-old Chester French frontman Max Drummey in Las Vegas last weekend. [P6]

In other Vegas news, Jay-Z is in talks to sell 50 percent of the Nevada branch of his 40/40 club for $44 million. [P6]

Sources are saying that Rielle Hunter's child looks like "John Edwards in a onesie." [NYDN]

Worldwide Entertainment Group is suing Paris Hilton for $74,000 over her prescient failure to promote her 2006 film National Lampoon's Pledge This! [TMZ]

According to authors Andrea Lavinthal and Jessica Rozler, women's friendships have deteriorated to the point where they can no longer recognize the difference between a friend and an enemy. They're the authors of Friend or Frenemy?: A Guide to the Friends You Need and the Ones You Don't, whose launch was celebrated Wednesday evening with a party at the Christano Cora Salon, sponsored by a sickly sweet pink cocktail undoubtedly chosen to drive home the girly themes in the book.

The guest list read like a Who's Who of C-list women with frenemies: the stars of the Real Housewives of New York City; Whitney Thompson, the winner of the most recent cycle of American's Next Top Model; and Cherry Martinez from Power 105.  read more »

Appearing on WNYC's Brian Lehrer Show (hosted today by Amy Eddings), Chuck Schumer praised Barack Obama and said he isn't worried about Obama's lack of progress in the general election polls because he's still an unknown figure to voters.

Schumer said the polls will swing to the Democat "as people get to know Obama--and particularly if he campaigns on issues. " Then he added, "With one caveat: they do have to hit back."

The message behind McCain's "Celeb" ad, Schumer said, was, "He's not one of us, he's a celebrity, he's an elitist".

"That's what they did with John Kerry," Schumer said, adding, "I would have been a little tougher."

Asked if he had any suggestions for Obama's V.P. pick Schumer replied, "Not publicly."

Paris Hilton has filmed a mock campaign ad responding to John McCain's references to her in his latest campaign ad. In it, she calls the Republican candidate "the oldest celebrity in the world. [NY Daily News]

Writer Jay McInerney says John Edwards's reported mistress, Rielle Hunter, is "a nice girl"; she was the inspiration for the character of Alison Poole in Mr. McInerney's 1988 novel Story of My Life. [P6]  read more »