Jessica Coen

Today, Vanity Fair's Jessica Coen exposes Transom reporter Spencer Morgan as the man who tried to kill her at Sundance by driving off a mountain. Yeah, he'll do that. Fair enough! But to save face, The Transom's boss must now reprint the text messages received that near-fateful eve which reveal Ms. Coen's complicity in her near-death Utah experience.

(N.B. Yes, your trusty editor, always responsible, inquired as to actual alcohol intake and found it to be surely below .08%, Utah's legal limit. For future reference in drinks-over-time equations, Spencer weighs about 175 pounds--Ms. Coen, oh, about half that.)

JessicaCoen: Your boy spencer just almost killed me. Twice. We crashed into a snowbank on the side of the mtn. He scares me.

TheTransom: haha. DIE WITH SPENCER! AWESOME STORY!!!!!

JessicaCoen: Just might happen bc WE HAVE TO GO BACK DOWN. I think I might drive. Is it better to kill Spencer or be killed by him???

The Transom: BETTER TO KILL! Wait: have whoevers DRINKING LESS drive.

JessicaCoen: That's me. Obvi.

The Transom: YOU DRIVE

JessicaCoen: he's driving. pray.

As part of soon-to-be-former Gawker editor Jessica Coen's going-away festivities, possibly one of the greatest things ever published in the history of Gawker just went up. As far as taking down magazine editors goes, Lauren Weisberger can totally read it and weep.

[Editor's Note: A somewhat murky clarification has been appended to this item on July 20th.]

When The Transom talked to Paula Froelich last week, she was jetting off to somewhere less humid and more glamorous for the weekend. And apparently Page Six boss Richard Johnson was out on mini-vacation. Which would have just left the fun-loving Chris Wilson to mind the Page Six shop for Sunday's edition, which included a nearly delightfully old-school and almost Gotti-esque warning to Jessica Coen of Gawker. [Disclaimer: The Transom was once Ms. Coen's boss.]

What was that one thing that Chris Wilson said that one time to Ms. Coen? "If you want to belittle me, okay, but remember one day I can do the same to you. Be nice okay? Be nice. I know what you guys do. I don't need the aggravation."

And, at last, the gentleman delivers. Sorta.

Although the retribution element is a wee bit scary and just a bit more entertaining, overall it makes The Transom pine for the days of scary former Page Sixer Ian Spiegelman, who famously sent a note to an enemy that included the fantastic phrase "You're a lame and a pussy, Doug." Sadly, it got him fired. But it satisfied.

Perhaps everyone involved should sit down and read Ms. Froelich's new book, It! Nine Secrets of the Rich and Famous That'll Take You To the Top. From page 134: "Always—and always, I mean every single time you leave the house—put your best foot forward and act appropriately." See? Nice, they say, is back, baby.  read more »

But The Transom hopes it won't last.

**UPDATE** Well, The Transom would prefer to have had someone speak on the record. However, having received more than a few off the record emails regarding this item, The Transom will happily concede that it cannot prove its assumption that Mr. Wilson was in fact the author of the Page Six item in question. And although The Transom sees conspiracy everywhere, it is absolutely willing to say that this conspiracy theory may (or may not?) be truly only a theory. —Choire Sicha