David Patrick Columbia

Yawn. What? Right. Here's the gossip round-up for Nov. 23, 2008, Thanksgiving Friday and possibly the slowest news day ever.

An eight-months-pregnant Nicole Richie and her friend, the society disc jockeyess Samantha Ronson, volunteered at a Hollywood soup kitchen yesterday.  read more »

Costume jewelry designer Kenneth Jay Lane thinks today’s ubiquitous sleek decorating sense—heavy on the long, clean lines—is “a little bit boring.” He was quoted saying this during a recent interview with NYSD House, David Patrick Columbia’s interior design-Q&A column, which some may find a little light on the questions and heavy on the photos. And that’s probably a good thing, too—Mr. Lane comes across as a man of few words and his Murray Hill apartment is fun to look at. (At one point, Mr. Columbia tells his subject that he finds watching QVC soothing; the shopping network has sold Mr. Lane’s baubles-in-drag for some 15 years. “I’m glad you’re soothed,” he responds.)

In any case, Mr. Lane—who said that he’s always lived alone, but “was married for a moment”—does offer an interesting explanation for the “impulse for adornment” and its historical longevity (both of which he seems to have: expensive-looking antique chotchkes abound in chez Lane.) “Well men always like to please women. Women like to please men too—some women. Some are very good at it. A caveman took a shell and maybe it had a hole in it or maybe he put a hole in it and he put it on a piece of a tail of a donkey or a dinosaur or something and gave it to the cavewoman. She put it around her neck—the first jewel,” he explained.

Today, beneath a pretty picture of a New York sunset, David Patrick Columbia reports that he doesn’t much mind that his online gossip column is often referred to as a “gossip column.” Then, in reference to the Times Fashion & Style piece about Jessica Seinfeld in yesterday’s paper, Mr. Columbia explains that reporter Allen Salkin contacted him to find out if, in his view, Ms. Seinfeld was indeed a social climber. It seems Mr. Columbia doesn’t think it’s possible for someone to be a social climber anymore, because, as he writes, “things are moving too quickly. What people can be is self-promoting.” (In the columnist’s view, self-promoting is what makes New York City “go.”) Mr. Columbia wraps up his rant by drawing an interesting connection between the Seinfeld marriage debacle and a 1975 movie starring Charles Grodin. Seriously.

Mr. Columbia writes:

"The Seinfeld marriage story was actually first a movie, written by Elaine May, the great comedienne and one-time partner of Mike Nichols. It was called “The Heartbreak Kid,” starring Charles Grodin and released in 1975. In it the character played by Grodin meets someone else on his honeymoon and ditches his wife for her. The ditched “wife” is also a whining princess and the new girl is hot hot hot, and so it’s easy to see the motivation. Either or, which would you choose? Well then, who can honestly criticize Jessica Sklar Seinfeld? It’s years later. She’s got three kids. She writes cookbooks (at least sorta), she gets baby clothes for mothers who need them. She does TV, like Oprah and The Today Show. So she likes a little attention. Buy the cookbook; make yourself something scrumptious to eat. For that you can thank Jessica. And your friend Seinfeld for marrying her and getting her into the New York Times. The Paper of Record."

The Crime of the Social Climb [NYSD]