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Barneys New York

Study (Mine) Reveals Key to Celebrity: Icy Unavailability

I finally figured out what my problem is. After all these years, I now see what I have been doing wrong. Caution: It’s pretty tragic. Simply put, I am just too folksy and available. Yes: folksy and available!

My epiphany came last week while reading A Time to Be Born, the late Dawn Powell’s searing satire Read More

Saturday Night Hives: How a Wart Ruined My Windows

What a week! Or, should I say, “Wart a week!”

Yes, a horrid wart! In full view of my public? Can you believe? That’s what I get for trying to avoid the H1N1 virus. What the hell am I talking about? I’ll explain all about Mr. Wart in just a moment. First, let’s talk about Read More

Barneys Shoppers Swoon for Wang, Proenza, Prosecco

Fashion’s Night Out transformed Barneys New York into a ten-floor circus, and designers were the star attraction.

The crowd had huge squeals for Alexander Wang, who spent a half hour on the 7th floor teaching visitors to “walk like a model.” The attraction was improbably popular among awkward preteen girls. They were short and wore braces Read More

Beam Me Up, Scottsdale

Got laid off? Thinking of fleeing to another city before you devour whatever is left in your piggy bank? How about sexy Scottsdale?

Wipe that disdainful expression off your face! If it’s good enough for Jenna Jameson, Hugh Downs, Barbara Eden, Leslie Nielsen, Ricky Schroder, former Vice President Dan Quayle and Alice Cooper, it’s certainly Read More

Gays Love a Depression!

“Gays love a recession!” said Robert Cogan, a 27-year-old patron of the brand-new East Village gay bar the Hose on the night of Feb. 7.

It was a Saturday night, and he was checking out the scene in the bar’s “back room,” which was, well, a room in the back. More Read More

The Local: Code Red on Black Friday

Recession or not, when Erin Lima makes the trip from Philadelphia to New York City, “shopping is inevitable.”

“Every time you come here you have to,” she said, while browsing the handbag section of Bergdorf Goodman on Saturday with her husband in tow. “You can’t help yourself.” The Limas and another couple got “the Read More

Yikes! Manhattan Men Bare Hairy Knees, Plump Calves

On a sweltering afternoon early last month, Adam Newman, a 25-year-old Park Slope comedian who works for CollegeHumor.com, made a life-changing decision: He took scissors to a pair of brown corduroy pants and fashioned them into shorts.

“It’s getting hot and I’ve made up my mind. This summer, I’m wearing shorts!” Mr. Newman blogged recently. “I’ve Read More

Higher-End New York Retailers: Us Worry?

Despite the truckloads of statistics floating around lately indicating that U.S. consumer confidence is plummeting (not to mention the millions of tax rebate checks in the mail), the city’s retailers seem convinced that New Yorkers will continue to shop, recession or not.

Monday brought a flood of new retail news, some of it reflective Read More

La Swinton Sweeps Oscars in Lanvin

Best Supporting Actress winner Tilda Swinton nuked the fashion competition at the recent Oscars. With her 70’s Bowie hair—remember the cover of Low, the brilliant 1977 album?—and her black velvet Lanvin one-sleeved toga, La Swinton made all those other gals in their fussy bustier glamour gowns look like a bunch of Republican drears on their Read More

Bonkers at Barneys! Sale Attracts Swarm of Sale-Hungry Shopaholics

This morning at around eight o’clock, Barneys flung open its doors to welcome stylish spendthrifts—reportedly over 100 of them—who had lined up to make like locusts at the store’s warehouse sale. Our morning coffee must have been spiked with too much sanity, because we weren’t there to report on the dumpling-line doppelganger. But a Read More